11 Signs It’s HIS Time of the Month

Oh no, everyone run for cover! Aunt Flo is close and men are stampeding away as fast their annoying little legs will carry them. Honestly, you’d think PMS was some sort of evil, contagious disease the way guys seem to disappear at just the mere mention of it. It’s all love and sweetness until you get just a tad grumpy one day and suddenly, you need to “take a pill.”

I have news for you. Guys also have their time of the month and their PMS makes our mood swings seem like we’re actually sugar and spice and so on and so forth. I’m serious. If you have a guy in your life, watch him. About one week a month, he does a complete 180 and it’s not pretty. Not sure if it’s his time? These 11 signs will show you the light.

  1. It’s all your fault. Naturally, anything that goes wrong for him was probably your fault anyway, at least he believes so. But once a month, you get blamed for everything. The fact he fell in the toilet because he forgot to put the seat down – totally your fault. Usually, you’re too busy trying to find an iron skillet to end the blame game to really notice it’s just PMS.
  2. He gets sappy. We’re not the only ones who for some strange reason love sappiness when we’re moody. If you catch your guy binging on WE, Lifetime or Hallmark Movie Channel, watch you. Those sparkling tears in his eyes could just as easily jump out and burn you like acid. It’s a self defense mechanism for his man hood, so don’t take get offended.
  3. He wants things right now. I hate this one. It’s like having a toddler constantly grabbing your pants leg and screaming “NOW!”. Forget about patience during his time. He wants that bag of chips and the remote right, this, second!
  4. He can’t because he has a headache. Believe it or not, there is a time when guys don’t want sex. I know, I was shocked too. But alas, the moment you start to make a move, your blocked with the classic “I have a headache.” Yes, it’s okay to whine just like he does when roles are reversed.
  5. He just wants to be alone. You know how sometimes you feel like crap and just want to be left alone during that time? Yet somehow that’s the one time he wants to cuddle. Big surprise right? Don’t be surprised if he wants some alone time. You can either pester him or get some much needed me time in too.
  6. He reorganizes everything. You could ask a guy to clean things up or just wait until his PMS kicks in. Suddenly, he needs to reorganize everything in the house. The towels must be refolded and sorted by color. The junk drawer is suddenly sparkly clean and everything’s super easy to find. This isn’t a bad thing. It’s actually one of the only real perks, so enjoy it!
  7. He stares in the mirror. Most of the time, you’re lucky if a guy remembers what a mirror is unless he has to shave. This is the reason their closets consist of jeans and tees. Everything matches everything else. If you catch him staring in the mirror, he’s suddenly worried about his looks. I’m still not sure how to answer the “is my hair getting thinner” or “am I getting fat” questions. Seriously, is there a right answer without getting your head bit off?
  8. The entire world suddenly pisses him off. Try complaining about your day around your time of the month and he calls you bitchy. But apparently, it’s okay for him to go off about any and everything for a week every month. Don’t try to calm him. That just makes it worse. Just nod and smile and hope he doesn’t notice that sedative you’re slipping him.
  9. He wants to argue. Okay, so I know I end up arguing about everything when I’m PMSing. Guess what? Guys to do. Their urge to be right comes out tenfold. Not that they’re right, of course. They just really, really think they are. I say give him that occasional “I agree,” especially if it eases up the mood swings a bit.
  10. He can’t do anything. Be prepared to be treated like a servant because apparently, male PMS affects his legs, arms, hands, brain, etc. They simply can’t function without a woman to bring them things. I honestly think they might starve otherwise. I guess their PMS must be really bad. I mean after all, we still function when it feels like we’re being turned inside out. Wow…poor, poor babies.
  11. He’s happy, he’s sad, he’s Super-Mood! The most obvious sign is the sudden mood swings. It’s not like ours. No, it’s more like nice, calm summer day to tornado in one second flat. He yells, then gets sad because he hurt your feelings. He wonders why life’s so hard only to become an uber optimist in seconds. It’s incredible to watch, but a pain to experience.

What can you do? Duck, take cover and hope they make a magic pill soon.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.