11 Signs Your Relationship Won’t Grow

Things seem to be going really well in your relationship and you can’t help but start thinking about your future together. Are you dreaming alone? Here are 11 signs that your relationship won’t grow.

  1. It feels like you’re in a rut. It’s normal to have ruts in your relationship from time to time, but if this one’s not going away then it’s probably a sign that something’s not quite right. It’s like your relationship has its wheels stuck in the mud and it’s too heavy to push.
  2. Your partner isn’t on the same page. Your partner is completely different from you when it comes to important things like future plans. In fact, it even seems like they’re always dreaming out loud about the future that belongs to them and has no damn space in it for you.
  3. You feel anxious about the future. Maybe the situation is flipped. Maybe your partner’s the one who’s thinking about your future and you’re having anxiety attacks at the mere thought of taking the relationship to higher ground. Again, it’s totally normal to get cold feet from time to time. What’s not okay is when you’re walking around on permanent ice blocks. That’s a clear sign that your heart’s not in this!
  4. You never disagree. Your relationship needs a bit of friction from time to time in order to shake things up and help you both grow and bond. If you never fight and you don’t even disagree, then it’s a huge problem that you don’t see the relationship as being worth fighting for. You’re choosing to remain “meh.” It’s relationship suicide.
  5. You aren’t becoming better. Remember what I said earlier about relationship ruts? Well, you might be in a rut all on your lonesome, feeling like you’re not becoming stronger or growing as a person. That could mean that the relationship isn’t big enough for you. It’s holding you back.
  6. You were focused on passion. Now the honeymoon phase is over and you’re having to search for something more substantial than sex to keep your relationship fires burning. Yikes. If you can’t find it, you might as well get out of the relationship now.
  7. You feel like an old couple. It can sometimes be a cute thing to feel like you and your partner are like an old married couple. Until it’s not and you realize that you’re like an old couple because you’re always doing the same things on a Friday night or you can’t remember the last time you got excited about something new.
  8. You dislike your partner’s family. You can say that you don’t need the approval of any of your loved ones in order to make a successful relationship work, but that’s not always realistic for the long-term future. It will just cause stress and heartache, which isn’t fair on you or your partner. If you can’t bear being in the same room as your partner’s loved ones, that’s a bad sign for your relationship future.
  9. You don’t like who they are. You’re nuts about your partner but sometimes you can’t help but feel that they’re not such a nice person. Maybe they treat their family or strangers like crap, or they cause you to feel really awkward when they mock others. Whatever the case, if you love but don’t like your partner, you don’t have a future with them, unless it’s a really difficult and sad one.
  10. You feel like a work in progress. If your partner keeps making you feel like you’re a work in progress or you have to change certain things about yourself or your life before they’re satisfied, don’t walk out of the relationship – run as fast as you can. You don’t have a happy or healthy future with this person. They’re just looking for a project, not a long-term partner. You’re so much more than that!
  11. You don’t feel amped. Okay, so if you’ve been dating your partner for years, you might not feel super-excited every time you hang out together or your anniversary rolls around. Hey, those butterflies have to leave sometimes so you don’t lose your mind! But, if you never feel excited about your relationship and where it could go, that could mean that it’s actually going nowhere slowly. Sorry but it’s true.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.
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