11 Signs You’re Dating An Insecure Guy

We all have insecurities and things we don’t feel quite so confident about, and that’s okay – it’s part of being human. You want a guy who’s emotional and open with you about these things, but if he’s too self-conscious and down on himself, it can start to feel like you’re his babysitter instead of his partner. Here are 11 signs you’re dating an insecure guy.

  1. He advertises himself on a first date. When you first meet the guy, does it feel like he’s his own PR person? If it feels like he’s always telling you how amazing he is or why he’s such a catch that his exes are still crying about having lost him, not only is it frustrating but it’s also a red flag he’s insecure.
  2. He sends you shirtless gym pics. If he’s always flooding your cell phone with pictures of his pecks, he’s clearly looking for your attention. Dealing with a guy who’s always fishing for compliments can make you want to throw him back into the dating pool. If he truly felt comfortable in his own skin, he’d have no need to do this.
  3. He changes the subject. He always wants to talk about himself, but when you talk about your life, like the promotion you got at work, he always changes the subject. He might even become quiet. This is a sure sign he’s feeling shadowed by your success. Yup, he’s a bit of a man-baby. This could make your relationship toxic, so you’ve been warned.
  4. He’s competitive. He’s your boyfriend who should be supporting you, not trying to be better than you. A guy who’s super-competitive, whether during a game of tennis or when it comes to your respective careers, is trying to show you up so that he feels better about himself.
  5. His nose is growing. If he’s always telling you lies, it could be based on insecurity. For example, he might lie about the amazing weekend he had because he doesn’t want to tell you the truth that he had nothing going on. He clearly doesn’t like the way his life is so he has to try to impress others with lies.
  6. He’s all about pleasing you. While it’s awesome when a guy tries to make you happy, if he’s always saying yes to everything you want to do, it starts to feel shady. He could feel worthless, which is why he’s trying to be perfect for you. He’s also afraid of rejection so he’s trying to be what you want. Meanwhile, you didn’t want to date a clone of yourself.
  7. He’s overdoing the confidence. Does it seem like your guy’s trying a little too hard to appear super-confident, no matter what life throws at him? If he’s trying to make it seem like he’s taking everything in his stride, it starts to feel like he’s putting on an act to be strong. You want to see the real him, not this macho, confident dude.
  8. He picks apart your words. If a guy’s very insecure, he might always try to analyze your words, including the compliments you give him, because he’s afraid of rejection. For example, you might tell him you had a nice time on your date with him and he’ll ask why you chose the word “nice” instead of something more descriptive. He might even become defensive about it. Yikes!
  9. He freaks when you mention your ex. You’re not interested in your ex in any way, but the guy you’re dating can’t handle the mere mention of your previous partner, even if he comes up once in a random memory. This is a red flag that he’s got a jealousy problem, and it’s probably rooted in insecurity. Ugh, do you need the drama?
  10. He’s stuck on you. A guy who’s insecure might tell you he’s lucky to have you and loves you when you don’t even know each other. This is because he’s clingy. An insecure guy who doesn’t see his own worth might be quick to try to be loved. It’s actually kinda sweet… as long as it doesn’t become creepy.
  11. He expects you to leave. He always needs reassurance from you because he expects you to hurt him. After a while, this can start to feel like a red flag because he doubts everything. Why? Because he doesn’t feel good enough or he thinks you’re totally out of his league. If he expects you to leave him, it gives him some power because at least he saw it coming. But wait, you didn’t even want to leave?! The guy’s projecting his fears onto you, and it can feel a bit unfair.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.