11 Signs You’re Depressed Because You’re In Love — Yes, It Happens

Falling in love is supposed to be a happy time in your life, but that’s not always the case. You might actually be feeling depressed even though you’re sure you’re finally found your person. What’s up with that? Here are 11 signs it could be happening to you and why.

  1. You’ve achieved your forever person dreams. You finally have the person of your dreams, so why aren’t you bouncing up and down or jumping over the moon because you’re deliriously happy and in love? Because you’re left with a “what now?” feeling. It’s totally normal for your brain to want to be challenged and stimulated, FYI. The important thing is to keep finding new goals for yourself.
  2. Settling down freaks you out. You’re not afraid of commitment, you just don’t like the idea of settling down. It makes you think of sitting on the sofa with someone and never getting up again. It’s like you can just disappear in your lovely cocoon while the world passes you by. It’s frightening, but relationships don’t have to go that way unless you want them to.
  3. You’re missing your single days. It’s totally normal to miss days when you were single. It’s human nature to always think the grass is greener on the other side. If you didn’t live up your single days as much as you should’ve, you might have some regrets that have piled up. But that doesn’t mean you can’t live it up now. Being in a committed and long-term relationship doesn’t mean the fun or your life is over!
  4. You’ve lost yourself. There’s falling in love, and then there’s losing yourself to love. Signs you’re doing the latter include if you’re letting your partner determine the course of your relationship, you can’t remember the last time you did something you enjoyed, and you’ve put your dreams on the back-burner. Try to start doing you. You’re still a person with your own dreams, goals, and interests.
  5. You hate that the honeymoon phase is almost over. It’s going to happen sooner or later, but when the butterflies fade, it doesn’t mean that the relationship is experiencing a downgrade. In fact, it’s usually the case that something better replaces them like a feeling of security, comfort, and happiness.
  6. You’re not used to a lack of drama. If you experienced lots of drama in previous relationships, you might feel a little thrown by not having drama in your current one. Even though that’s obviously a good thing, it might take some getting used to. Don’t confuse peace with boredom, though.
  7. You’re dating someone nice for a change and it’s freaking you out. If you’ve broken the pattern of dating toxic people and have chosen someone legitimately nice for a change, it might feel strange. You might not be sure how to deal, in a similar way to how peace and calm can feel strange after lots of chaos. But that doesn’t mean you’re depressed. You’re just adjusting to a new normal that’s better for you.
  8. You’re seeing signs that your relationship’s not perfect. You might feel down because your relationship isn’t as fairytale perfect as you’d hoped, but no relationship is! It’s only natural for relationships to get real, but that’s a good thing. It means that the perfect moments you experience are even more meaningful. You don’t need a fairytale relationship to make you happy, but you do need a raw, real one. There’s joy in the imperfections.
  9. You have to change your life. There’s no doubt about it: getting into a new relationship will make you have to change some things about your life. This can include things such as your free time, for instance. These changes can be a little difficult at first and even make you feel down, especially if you’ve always loved your independence. Balance is key. You don’t have to go OTT with the changes and compromise. No one said you had to give up your life.
  10. You thought your relationship would make you happy. If you were hoping for your relationship to be a cure-all for sadness and feelings of emptiness, sorry to tell you but it’s impossible for it to do so. You’re the only one who can make you happy and deal with your issues 100 percent of the time. Reaching out to other people and things to give you a happiness boost will often leave you sad instead of satisfied. Happiness is an inside job – own it!
  11. You’re in the wrong relationship. If none of the above applies to you, then maybe you’ve fallen out of love with your partner but you don’t want to face that reality. That could be why you’re feeling depressed. Although your partner shouldn’t be expected to make you happy 24-7, a relationship shouldn’t be so toxic that it’s draining you of happiness and energy all the time. If you usually don’t suffer from depression but you’ve been carrying a rain cloud over your head since you got into your relationship, bingo. Your relationship’s to blame.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.