11 Signs You’re Finally In A Healthy Relationship

The thing about healthy relationships is that you don’t really realize just how unhealthy your other relationships were until you find yourself in one that’s the complete opposite. It’s like you have this magnificent epiphany and you’re able to say to yourself, “Wow. So this is how it’s supposed to be.” It’s an amazing feeling, and one that isn’t felt often, because honestly, a lot of relationships are screwed up.

Not sure if your partnership is healthy or a total hot mess? Here are 11 signs you’re in a healthy relationship.

  1. You can talk about everything. And I mean everything… from politics and religion to even the creepy details of your morning poop, because if you can’t tell your partner that there appears to be a mysterious piece of blue plastic in it, than who can you tell?
  2. You feel safe. In a healthy relationship there is no fear. You feel safe and secure; financially, physically, and emotionally.
  3. You support and feel supported. You know that your partner has your back as much as you have theirs, and because of this you’re not afraid to take risks and pursue goals. You always know you have someone who will be there for you through it all.
  4. You make each other better people. It’s not just that you make each other better, but that both you and your partner want to be better people because of your relationship. You want to share that confidence and love with the world.
  5. There is mutual respect. Mutual respect isn’t just about respecting your partner for all the wonderful things they do and color they bring to your life, but it’s also about respecting their humanity, vulnerability, and fragility.
  6. You are accepted and you accept. Along with being able to talk about everything (communication, people!), one of the very core factors in a healthy relationship is being able to accept each other for what you are and accept the fact that some things you just can’t change. It’s about accepting the less than desirable bits, and maybe even love the hell out of them.
  7. You want to resolve problems. When you’re in a healthy relationship, you don’t want to slam doors and go to bed mad. You want to talk it out, figure out how to fix the issue at hand, and come to a resolution. You don’t want to have petty arguments dangling over your head for hours, let alone days.
  8. You have complete trust. If you never, ever, doubt your partner, for even a second, no matter the circumstances, then you have found complete trust. Embrace the hell out of it, because it’s a rare thing to find.
  9. You have realistic expectations. You understand that life isn’t a fairytale and relationships, especially the great ones, take work. It’s not always easy to see our relationships clearly, but when you can, you know you’re in a good place.
  10. You function alone as well as you function together. Healthy relationships allow for space and alone time, without either partner feeling like they’re getting the shaft. You want each other to be free to live their lives with you, not for you.
  11. Every relationship before seems like child’s play. It’s true. Once you find yourself in a healthy relationship, all the other ones in your past seem silly, like practice rounds for the real thing, which is what they probably were. They also make you realize that you needed to learn those lessons so you could get to this point and completely appreciate what you have.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.