11 Signs You’re Not His Only Date That Night

You’ve cleared out your evening for him, but are you sure he’s done the same thing with you? If he’s showing you these 11 signs, then you’re probably not his only date tonight. Of course, one of these signs alone doesn’t necessarily point to a guy who’s filled up his schedule with lots of different women, but a few of them combined can definitely be a big red flag.

  1. His phone is always buzzing. His phone’s on the table at the restaurant and it’s always going off. He seems fidgety and gives in to the temptation to check it even though you were in the middle of telling him a fascinating story about your childhood. Or, he might hear a notification on his phone and make an excuse that he has to go to the bathroom. He’s clearly dying to check his phone.
  2. He shows up lateIf he’s not on time and isn’t apologetic/doesn’t have a good excuse for his tardiness, it feels disrespectful and could also be a sign that he just came from another date. This is especially the case if he’s often running behind schedule and can never give you a legit reason for why. Even if he isn’t dating someone else, being late all the time is a sign of an unreliable guy.
  3. He’s in a major rush. He seems to be racing through your date and then he cuts it really short, even though you were supposed to have a meal or see a movie together. He doesn’t even give you a reason for why he has ants in his pants. He just mumbles something about seeing you again soon, but you’re left deflated and feeling like he’s got somewhere better to be.
  4. He’s canceled plans on you before. While you were supposed to hang out the previous night, he moved your date to this evening at an earlier time slot. That in itself isn’t a sign that he has other plans, but if he’s guilty of canceling on you or shifting your dates around a lot, it does make you wonder if he’s trying to juggle dating you with dating someone else.
  5. He’s changed your date location at the last minute. You were supposed to meet up at the cute new coffee shop in your hood, but then at the last minute, he asked if you could meet him at a pub across town instead. It’s as if he has someone else to meet after you and it’s just more convenient for him to be on that side of town. Hmm.
  6. He’s shifty about what he’s going to do afterward. When the date comes to an end, you ask him what he has planned for the rest of the night and he’s quite vague about giving you an answer. Maybe he doesn’t want to tell you that he’s going to meet up with someone else for a nightcap.
  7. He’s not really there. He might keep checking his phone for messages or just seem like he’s elsewhere. If it feels like he’s not really paying attention, it might make you worry that he’s not really interested in getting to know you or that he has someone else on his mind. Same goes for if his eyes are always wandering around at other women instead of focusing on you. It’s so rude.
  8. He doesn’t text you for a few days after your date. If he usually texts you after a date to say goodnight or tell you that he had a great time, it does feel weird if suddenly his behavior stops—especially if he was rushing through the date and seemed distracted. It’s like he goes off the map because he’s busy with someone else for the time being.
  9. He’s not keen on dinner. He never seems to be keen to sit down for a meal with you. It’s always a coffee or drinks date, which is quite telling. If he’s keen on short dates, then something’s up. It could be that he has other dates in his schedule and you’re just one of them. He’s keeping things casual on purpose. While he’s having nothing but drinks at the bar with you, he could be booking dinner at a restaurant with someone else he’s seeing. Ouch.
  10. He phubs you all night. It’s fine if he checks his phone once or twice, but it’s not cool if he’s guilty of phubbing you by spending more time with his phone than you during a date. Not only could this point to him having another woman he’s seeing, but it shows that he has zero interest in your date. Next!
  11. He’s bought date-like groceries. He went grocery shopping before your date and when you took a glance at his shopping bags, you saw lots of items for a date such as chocolate mousse, a bottle of wine, some oysters… Hmm, could he be planning a romantic date after yours? If he hasn’t invited you over for dinner then clearly he’s going to be enjoying those foods with someone else. If you have the courage to ask him what those items are for, it’s extra suspicious if he says they’re just for him.

While technically, it makes sense to keep your options open when you’re just getting to know someone, it’s pretty tacky for him to have another date lined up on the same night he’s seeing you. If a guy can’t dedicate an evening solely to you, he’s obviously not worth your time.

Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.