11 Signs You’re With The Wrong Bedroom Partner

There’s bad intimacy, which sometimes happens despite your best efforts, and then there’s a bad intimate match overall. The latter is so much worse to have to deal with and could seriously screw up your relationship. How do you know you’re saddled with the wrong dude in the sack? Here are signs he’s just not worth taking to the bedroom again.

  1. He only cares about his pleasure. It’s all about his satisfaction and how he’ll reach orgasm. In fact, he usually comes before you during love-making and doesn’t even continue so you can peak too! Um, did you forget something, dude? This is not only selfish, it’s rude as hell.
  2. He doesn’t return the favor. You’re eager to get down and give him a little mouth action but he never returns the favor. He tricks you into being affectionate and touching you lots beforehand, making you think that he’s going to hook you up with some extra special oral action… but then he never does. Talk about being left unsatisfied.
  3. You can’t talk to him about intimacy. If the bad intimacy is happening with the guy you’re dating on more than a casual basis, you know that you have to talk to him about it. The only problem is that it’s a really awkward conversation to have and you know that he either won’t listen or he’ll get upset about what you’re saying. If you can’t talk about intimacy with your partner, then the problem might be your partner.
  4. He thinks he’s amazing in the sack. This guy’s got an ego the size of Asia. He’s always harping on about how good he is in the bedroom and how he’ll be giving you such amazing feelings. Sometimes he even uses this technique as a kind of naughty talk. It’s almost like he’s turning HIMSELF on because he’s definitely not turning you on.
  5. He’s not open to new things. Sometimes you get your partner to try something new in the bedroom, but he screws it up. He might moan the whole way through it or think your new toy is stupid. Ugh. Talk about killing the mood. Where’s the fun in doing it with a guy who’s vanilla ice cream every day when you want the chocolate fudge with sprinkles every now and then?
  6. He scores an “F” in pre-love-making activities. This guy probably doesn’t know what the word “foreplay” means because he never does it much. He’s too keen to rush into the main act of love-making, which totally neglects how much pleasure there is to gain from foreplay. Sometimes it’s better than the main event but he wouldn’t know or he just doesn’t care. Thanks for cutting out such a huge part of pleasure, loser.
  7. He doesn’t touch you after making love. It’s not just the opening act that’s important, but also what happens after the deed is done. If he doesn’t touch or kiss you, it can feel weird and like there’s no emotional component to things. Can you say bitterly cold? Come on, there are so many other ways to score intimacy than just to do each other. 
  8. He doesn’t want to use his mouth on you. He might say that he doesn’t enjoy doing it or he just doesn’t feel like it (for the 10th time in a row), but it’s not good enough. If he won’t hook you up but you’re doing it for him, then you shouldn’t be with him because it’s unfair and he’s a jerk. It’s as simple as that.
  9. He doesn’t listen. During love-making, he totally fails to read and respond to signs you give him. For instance, if you stop making a noise, he just continues with what he was doing instead of changing his routine a bit. FYI: going silent is intimate talk for “I’m getting bored here.” He’s just not in tune with your body and doesn’t make sure you’re getting the most pleasure from the experience.
  10. He tries things without asking first. Um, did you say that he could flip you around like that? No, you didn’t. He shouldn’t be arrogant or selfish in the sack. He should ask if he can do something before just jumping in. It’s common bedroom decency and if he can’t give you that, then he doesn’t deserve to be with you.
  11. He doesn’t have the same level of passion as you. It’s not always possible to have exactly the same drive as your partner, but if you’re way out of sync, you run the risk of having unsatisfying intimacy. You don’t deserve to be left on ice when you’re turned on because he’s not in the mood. If he’s got a really low or high drive compared to yours, then it could be a sign that you’re not as compatible as you should be.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.