11 Signs You’ve Come Down With “Textual Diarrhea”

Textual diarrhea is pretty much the same thing as verbal diarrhea, just via text (duh). Think you might be rambling off to your crush too much or sending him TMI too soon? Here are 11 signs you need some Imodium for your thumbs.

  1. You double-text all the time. We’ve all been guilty of it at some point, and generally speaking, the double text is NBD… unless it’s happening on a regular basis. Then it starts to make the person you’re texting wonder what’s up. Are you insecure, fearing they won’t reply to your message? Are you paranoid that the network’s down or that you’re being ghosted? Eek. It’s too much.
  2. Your thumbs are sore from texting. During conversation with your crush, you send them massive chunks of text via WhatsApp. It’s just that you prefer getting everything out in one big message. Hmm… Don’t get me wrong, texting lots and sharing info about yourself is awesome, but not if your crush responds by sending you one-word texts as replies. Then you have to reel it in instead of wasting your fabulousness on someone who doesn’t appreciate it.
  3. You send boring texts. Everyone’s conversation can become a bit boring, especially if you talk a lot, but mundane chats shouldn’t happen all the time. If they do, something’s wrong with your connection. If you’re always sending texts about the weather or what you ate for dinner, you might want to stop. Save your messages for when you have something really interesting to say.
  4. You love emojis. OK, who doesn’t? They can be so fun to use. But avoid using them too much. Sending strings of emojis can come across as childish or like you’re trying to find something – anything – to say to the point where you’re not even thinking about quality. It’s lazy texting. Reel it in and focus on having a real conversation instead.
  5. You text more than you interact in person. You find it more comfortable to text someone than speak to them IRL, so you go overboard with talking to them via WhatsApp or on a social networking site. The problem? When you meet for a date in person, you don’t really have much to say. You’re quite different from the bubbly, talkative person you are via text, which can feel weird for the person who’s dating you. Who is the real you?!
  6. You ramble. Your crush asks you a question via text and you answer it by going off on a tangent. For example, he asks you about your hobbies and you tell him about them before launching into a long story about all the things you hate, followed by your recent holiday to Europe. Wow. Although it’s fun to be entertaining and sparkly, it’s not cool to give away all your glitter too soon for practical reasons: it’s confusing for someone to make sense of what you’re trying to say. Even if your messages are crystal clear, it can feel like you’re all over the place.
  7. You speak more than you read. You don’t really ask your crush questions. You’re more likely to fill the conversation with things you want to say. Ouch. This can make you seem like a really selfish communicator! Try to follow the 3:1 rule that states you shouldn’t send someone more than three messages for every single message you receive.
  8. You call, then text. When you try to call your crush, you feel bummed when they’re not answering their phone because you really wanted to catch up, so you decide to text them instead. Not to tell them that you tried to call them, but rather to put everything you were going to say in the call in the text instead. Yikes.
  9. You put your thoughts on different lines. Instead of just sending the message as a whole, you split it up, putting different sentences on different lines. This can be really irritating —imagine getting 20 message notifications from someone within two minutes? Argh!
  10. You text your crush lots late at night. If it’s nearly one in the morning and you can’t sleep, you might think it’s cool and romantic to send your crush a message. It can be, but not if you send them a bunch of texts trying to get them to respond to you at that time. Slow down and maybe read or watch TV instead of trying to get the person to chat to you. They’re probably sleeping, and they’re going to wonder WTF is going on when they wake up and see eight messages on their phone sent in the early hours.
  11. You lose it when you don’t get a reply. Hey, there’s nothing more frustrating than when your crush doesn’t have the decency to reply to your text, but that doesn’t mean you can go crazy by sending different texts if your first one doesn’t get a reply. Known as text-bombing, this comes across as clingy, as though you’re jumping through hoops and trying to get the person’s attention. Slow down and let them come to you.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.