11 Subtle Signs You Don’t Like Him As Much As You Think You Do

Dating is a tricky beast and that means that even if you think that you like a guy, you might not. You could actually be forcing yourself to feel a certain way about the new guy in your life. If this sounds like you, then you might be able to relate. Here are some signs that you’re just not that into him.

  1. You’re done with being single. Let’s be real—it’s the worst when you’re tired of the solo life. You should be allowed to be in a relationship the second that you start to hate being on your own but sadly, life doesn’t happen that way. When you’re absolutely over being single, you might want to seriously date the next guy that comes along because you just can’t stand another second. You can probably tell why this isn’t smart.
  2. You had a decent first date. Sometimes it’s easy to confuse a good enough first date with a really, really good one. While not every date is going to be pure magic, you don’t want to settle for an okay evening. If you’ve had a lot of horrible dates, then it’s tempting to want to date a guy that you had a “just fine” date with. You figure that you might as well and he looks good in comparison to the other losers. Unfortunately, this is the worst idea ever. You should hold out for someone you actually like.
  3. You don’t get nervous AF around him. When you like a guy, you should be a total mess around him. Sure, you should be able to hold a conversation, but you should feel it all: sweaty palms, racing heart, butterflies in your stomach. If you act like you’re just hanging out with a friend and don’t get anxious or nervous at all then you probably only see this as a platonic thing, even if you haven’t admitted it to yourself yet.
  4. You feel numb about the whole thing. Do you feel like spending time with this guy is no big deal? If someone asked you about him and your response is to shrug, then you don’t feel as excited about him as you should. There’s no reason to settle and that’s exactly what you’re doing here.
  5. You don’t want to tell your best friends. It’s not super wise to text your BFFs that you’ve met your future husband halfway through the first date but it’s also weird if you don’t want to tell your girlfriends that you’ve met an amazing guy. After all, this is your moment. You’ve been waiting for this and if they’re good friends, then they’ve been hoping that you would tell them something like this for a while now. It should be a pretty big moment.
  6. You would be okay if things didn’t work out. No one has a crystal ball (although that would be awesome with the way dating is these days). You can’t exactly tell if a guy is your one and only or the next person to break your heart. You should definitely feel like you want this new relationship to work out and that if it doesn’t, you’d be upset. If you don’t feel that way, then you don’t really like him.
  7. You don’t just see red flags, you nitpick. In a perfect world, there would be zero red flags when you’re considering if you should date someone. There are a few less than ideal things that you can probably ignore (like if he’s fresh out of school and job hunting—that’s much different than refusing to find employment). If you see a million red flags and also can’t stop thinking about all of the little annoying things that he says and does then you definitely aren’t into him.
  8. Your friends seem surprised. Sure, it’s a bit of a shock when a forever single girl has a new guy, but your friends should be more happy for you than completely flabberghasted. If they don’t seem on board, they might realize that he’s not right for you and they might see something that you don’t.
  9. You don’t freak out when he texts you. This might sound super silly and yet it’s really the only way that you can act when you’ve got a massive crush on someone. Even if he just says “hey,” you should be thrilled. It should feel like the most exciting thing ever. If it doesn’t, that tells you something.
  10. You don’t feel like you’re in the honeymoon phase. This is a real thing. For the first months of a new relationship, you should be nuts about this person. Yeah, that’s your hormones talking, but there’s also an emotional component. Basically, if you don’t wish that you could hang out (and make out) with this guy 24/7, then you don’t like him.
  11. You’ve asked yourself if you’re settling. If you have to ask, then yes, you are absolutely settling. And it’s a terrible idea. It might feel good in the moment because you can finally tell your friends and family that you’ve met someone, but if you don’t feel deep down that it’s totally right, then it’s not. Yeah, walking away is going to be disappointing. Tell yourself that when it’s real, it’s going to be even better.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.