11 Things A Man Is Thinking When He Ignores You

When a man ignores you, it can be confusing and downright infuriating. Sometimes what will irritate you more than the thought that he’s simply not interested in you is that he doesn’t come out and tell you what’s on his mind! Don’t worry—after reading this article, you’ll have a better idea of what could be up with him. This will help you to move on from him and stop giving him all your time and energy. Save your texts for someone who doesn’t give you the cold shoulder, okay?

  1. He’s stressed. Let’s mention a quick disclaimer here – it’s never a legit excuse for him to say he’s so stressed and so busy that he can’t text you. That’s total BS. But, and there is a big but, he might be going through something really stressful that’s taking up his time and making him not able to text. Maybe there’s been a death in his family, he’s fallen into a depression so he doesn’t care about connecting with anyone right now, or something else. If you’ve known him for a while, your next question should be, “Why isn’t he reaching out and turning to me for support?” Hmm.
  2. He’s got someone else on his mind. It could be that his mind is filled with thoughts of another woman. Ugh. Maybe it’s an ex that’s still a part of his life, or he’s been getting to know other women at the same time that he’s been enjoying dates with you and he’s making a real connection with one of them. This is especially the case if it feels like he’s pulling further and further away from you—someone is getting closer to him.
  3. He doesn’t think he’s ignoring you. While you might think that he’s totally dissing you, the guy might be whistling on his way to work and not even aware of what you’re going through. He might not think of it as ignoring you when he goes AWOL for days or he doesn’t reply to your texts right away. This is why it’s so important to find out what his texting style is right away so you can see if yours works with his or is going to be a problem.
  4. He’s keen to keep things casual. If a guy texts you and chats to you on the phone regularly, like daily, his consistent behavior will give you the message that he’s keen on becoming your boyfriend. By ignoring you or holding himself back, he’s sending you the message that he wants to keep things relaxed and casual instead of becoming too committed or serious.
  5. He thinks you’re needy. He might’ve got the impression that you’re keen on having something serious or you want to get close to him but he’s just not on the same page. He might think you’re a little too interested (ugh) and that’s what’s making him pull back.
  6. He’s testing the breakup waters. A guy who’s considering not seeing you anymore might test the waters by not making contact with you for a while. This will give him an indication of what his life is like when you’re not around. He might do this to see what he feels and could help him sort through doubts he might be having about you. Give him a bit of time to see if he resurfaces.
  7. He wants to end things. The worst reason why he’s ignoring your messages? He wants to break up or stop dating. He’s pulling away from you because he doesn’t want to take things further. He might not even tell you that he wants things to end, which totally sucks but if he does this he’s clearly a coward ghoster. Next!
  8. He’s pissed off. The guy might be mad at you for something. Maybe you guys got your lines crossed and experienced a misunderstanding, but he could be giving you the silent treatment ’cause he doesn’t actually want to talk to you. Okay, the thing is that he should be man enough to express that he’s angry with you and why, instead of being a baby about it, right?
  9. He’s stacked up on insecurities. While you might think that he’s totally smooth and confident, appearances can be deceiving. He might actually be riddled with various insecurities or have low self-esteem. You might think that his issues shouldn’t stop him from talking to you and letting you in, but that’s sometimes easier said than done.
  10. He doesn’t like talking via text. If you confront the guy about why he’s been so quiet and he tells you that he’s not big on texting, you might roll your eyes. Look, it’s fine if he feels this way, but if he’s interested in having something real with you he’s going to find other ways to make regular contact. He’s not going to disappear and he’s not going to be rude by leaving you on read for a week.
  11. He likes you, but not that much. He’s got a chilled attitude towards you. He might be fine with texting once in a while, but not too much. He’s not giving you mixed messages, here – he’s showing you via his actions that you’re not number one on his list of priorities and he doesn’t want to start a relationship with you. You should only stick around if you’re on the same wavelength otherwise you’ll just end up hurt and resentful.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.