11 Things Amazing Partners Do—Is This Your Person?

While relationships will come and go for most of us, we all have that one person that we look back on and recall as the best partner we ever had. Here’s the sign you’ve snagged them.

  1. They let you be yourself. In order for someone to qualify as the “best,” they need to let you be yourself, no matter what that entails. People have their good sides and their bad sides, and we can’t always keep that bad side under wraps. It’s that person who accepts the crappy sides of you who’s a keeper.
  2. They give you your space. Relationships can’t evolve unless the two people in them are given space to grow. A great (read: best) partner realizes this and isn’t intimidated by letting you have your space to live your life and do what makes you happy, even if it doesn’t include them. Some of us need more alone time than others and it’s only people with a strong sense of self and confidence who can step back and let their partner do what they need to do.
  3. They support you in every way possible. From your goals to that haircut you got last year that was a mistake to the petty fight you had with your best friend, the best partner always has your back and always supports you—especially when you feel like giving up.
  4. They treat you as their equal. Although we may be living in 2019, there are places in the world and people that still don’t see men and women as equals. The best partner is the one who doesn’t see you as the “weaker sex,” but rather an equally strong, radiant sex who just happens to be different from their own gender. Two things can be very different but still be equal and they know that.
  5. They’re an advocate for women’s rights. I’m of the feeling that you can’t truly love a woman without being a vocal advocate for women’s rights. You just can’t. Because of this, the best partner is going to be a feminist who’s out there with you at the Women’s March in a vagina hat, shutting down people who tell sexist jokes and putting misogynists in their place. They’re going to be an ally and obviously vote accordingly.
  6. They have their own life. It’s so important to find someone who has their own life. When you do, grab them and never let go! The best partner is going to have their own friends, want their own space, and not need to hang onto you every second of every waking hour. They’re going to relish in their time away from you with their buddies because they know it’s essential to a healthy relationship to have separate lives.
  7. They have their own goals. Even more important than having their own life is having their own goals. While a partnership can share future goals like eventually getting married and/or having kids, from a professional standpoint, each person should have their own goals that have come from their own ambition and idea of success. The best partner is going to constantly be working toward those goals while supporting you working toward yours as well.
  8. They actually hear you. There’s a huge difference between listening and hearing, as they say. The best partner doesn’t just listen but truly hears you. Then they take what they hear, toss it around in their head, and make sense of it. When people take the time to hear us, they have a better understanding of where we’re coming from and what we need, which brings us to…
  9. They understand what you need. Why? Because they care enough to hear you. The best partner knows that understanding themselves, as well as understanding you, is important to a healthy and happy relationship, so they take the time to grasp the particulars so they can “get” you as much as he possibly can.
  10. They appreciate your quirks. We all have our quirks, weird hang-ups, and bizarre little things that make us unique. Although sometimes those things can be annoying to our partners, the best partner is never going to see these as anything but wonderful. Even on days where they’re aggravated or tired, they’re still going to appreciate that strange little snore of yours or how you have to check your alarm clock five times, every night, before bed.
  11. They argue like an adult. What does it mean to argue you like an adult? It means that instead of storming out of the house or throwing around low-blow insults, you work it out and try to reach a resolution. The best partner does exactly that. They don’t run for the hills or make a scene. They stay put and are willing to confront the issue and resolve it. That’s not just best partner behavior, it’s love.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.