Plenty of guys say they want a strong, independent woman, but when they land one of us, they have no clue how to keep us. Instead, many of them seem to be really good at driving us away. No matter how good their intentions happen to be, the truth is that some guys just don’t know how to deal with a woman who wants them but doesn’t need them. Here’s how they push us away:
- Treating us like arm candy We like to get dressed up now and then and are happy to make them look good around their friends, but the minute they start to parade us around like ass-on-a-stick, we’re going to be looking for a way out. We are not any guy’s play thing, we’re not objects, and we won’t stand to be treated as such.
- Acting like we’re fragile Just because we’re strong doesn’t mean we have a heart of stone. They can still make us cry and plenty of things will piss us off. Whatever they do, they really shouldn’t handle us with kid gloves. They can be there for us without making us feel pathetic because that’s a sure way to push us away. Instead of making us feel like we’re being dramatic, we just want them to show us that they’re there for us no matter what.
- Not communicating properly Part of what got us where we are today is being able to talk about it. We’re not just in touch with our thoughts and feelings but we know how to share them with others and how to listen. If guys think they can just slide by in a relationship with us without addressing issues as them come up, they need to think again. This is a two way street.
- Making our past a problem Our previous experiences with guys and/or with life might not be pretty, but they’re the fundamental reasons we are who we are today. Treating where we’ve been with disregard, disrespect or judgement isn’t just rude, it’s downright unfair. They don’t get to enjoy the woman we’ve become while ignoring what got us there.
- Giving us rules to follow No woman likes to be given restrictions, but exerting controlling tendencies on strong women is going to get guys into a ton of trouble. We don’t want dudes who tell us what to do, where to go, who to talk to or anything else. We know better than to think we can’t find someone else, and if they treat us like puppets, we’ll go find someone who won’t.
- Making us feel like our strength is intimidating We get that sometimes it can be weird to be the man in the relationship and always feel like their partner is running ahead, but our success shouldn’t make guys anxious, it should make them proud. We want guys who will push us to climb even higher, not pull us back down so they don’t feel second best.
- Trying to fight our battles for us We appreciate that they want to stick up for us, but we don’t need anyone to step up and take the hit every time. We got this way by exerting control, by standing our ground and by never backing down from what we believe in. If guys always want to play the hero, they’ll be written out of the story pretty quick.
- Speaking for both of us without asking our feelings Nothing is more frustrating to strong women than other people making decisions on our behalf. We would never take the reigns and leave them in the dark, so we expect the same from guys we date. When we’re out to eat, we want to order our own food, and for God’s sake, when we’re in front of our families or friends, they need to let us tell some of the stories.
- Demanding to see us all the time There’s no faster way to get rid of independent women than to ask to see us every second of our free time. We have our own lives, our own friends, and our own routine, and having time to ourselves doesn’t mean we’re going to go cheat on them. We need guys who respect our space or we’ll send them right out that door.
- Making us feel guilty for going after our dreams Holding us back from reaching our full potential is the absolute worst thing guys can do. Goals are what motivate us each morning, and our accomplishments are what make us proud each night. If they can’t be our biggest fans, cheering us on through each obstacle, then they have no place in our lives. We don’t need another person to second guess our abilities or try to mooch off our success. Chances are we’ve been there, done that.
- Joking about us wearing the pants in the relationship We know guys think it’s funny to laugh about a guy being whipped, but it actually makes women feel crappy, not good. They might think we find it a compliment that they see us as dudes, but something about it rubs us the wrong way. Instead of naming who takes less stuff from whom, how about we try being equals? Otherwise, we’ll look elsewhere.
