11 Things Guys Need to Leave at Home on the First Date

Sure, a lot has changed when it comes to dating in the 21st century. We may have moved further from the wine and dine and closer to just the wine, women may be fronting the bill and the lines that define what constitutes a real date may be a bit blurred, but first impressions still remain important. There is still some etiquette to follow on a first date, and there are definitely still some things you guys should leave at home before taking us out. If you do, you’re likely won’t be seeing us again.

Your drama.

We’re sorry that your best friend owes you money and that a girl you went out with one time still stalks you. It sucks that your co-worker is trying to get you fired and it’s too bad that your landlord is ripping you off. But these aren’t really topics of conversation for a first date. If this is all you can come up with, you may want to work on your dating game before asking us out again.

Your posse.

We want to meet your friends… eventually. But on the first date, we’d rather you came alone. We get that you have an avid social life, but would it kill ya to break away from the boys and dedicate one night to us?

The almighty e-cigarette.

Yes, this actually happens. I’m not sure when this became a trend, but it needs to go away. There is nothing more embarrassing then sitting across from a guy who keeps his e-cigarette behind his ear during dinner and blows ‘smoke’ in your face during dessert. It’s great that you’ve quit smoking, but there is a time and a place for an e-cigarette. And it most certainly is not on our date.

Memories of your ex-girlfriend.

On the first date, the last thing we want to hear about is your ex girlfriend. We don’t want to know what she was like, or why you broke up, or what you bought her for Christmas. We’re not interested in how many times she cheated on you, where you vacationed together or how happy she was when you asked her to move in with you. If you talk this much about your ex girlfriend, you should probably take her out on a date instead.

Your mother’s credit card.

It’s always nice when a guy pays for the first date, but if you’re paying with your parents’ credit card, you’re not scoring any points in the chivalry department. Do we thank you for dinner, or your mother?

Your job.

We get it – you worked all day, your boss is a jerk and your client is pissing you off. Did it ever occur to you that we also have a full time job? That we also work hard and we also put up with BS? That doesn’t mean we want to bring it to our weekend date. We leave our work at work. It’s not okay to answer work emails over dinner, or disappear to take a ‘work’ call during drinks. If this is how you are on our first date, we know we’ll always come second to your job. Sure, it’s sexy when you’re established and successful, but we’re looking for someone who has time for us, not someone who’s already married to their career. We don’t invite our jobs to a first date and we’d appreciate if you told yours it wasn’t invited either.

A condom.

If this is what you’re expecting on date one, you may want to give Tinder a try.

Your drunk alter ego.

Just because we agreed to go out for drinks doesn’t mean your drunk douchebag side is allowed to come, too. There is nothing more uncomfortable than having to apologize for your date’s behavior, nothing more awkward than sitting across from someone slurring their words, and nothing more disgusting than watching your date throw up on the sidewalk. We like to drink and have a good time too, but let’s do that on a day when we know you a little better, and when you’re not driving us home.

Your sweatpants.

Hey, we all like being comfortable. But on a first date, it may not be a bad idea to clean up a little. If you look like you just came straight from your couch to our date, we’re not going to be too impressed. We don’t need you in a suit and tie, but it would be nice to know you put in a little effort.

Your phone addiction.

On a first date, we want to know you’re interested in us. Don’t text during dinner, don’t take a phone call during drinks and don’t giggle at your friend’s Facebook post during dessert. Next time you plan on making your phone a central part of our date, let us know and we’ll make a reservation for three.

Your kill count.

We don’t want to know how many girls you’ve slept with. We don’t care what positions you’ve tried, how many girls let you put it in their butt or how many often you’ve stuck it to your best friend’s sister. We probably never want to know that, but at the very least, it’s not something you should volunteer the first time you take a girl out. We’re glad you’re proud of how many notches you have on your belt, but if you bring this up, you likely won’t be adding another one.

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