Any woman who’s been with a guy long enough has had to explain a few things to him. It doesn’t matter if he’s been with fifty women before you (ew?), or if you’re his first, because there will always be a few things he just can’t wrap his head around. Even writing it down on a post-it and sticking it to his refrigerator, or a sandwich, wouldn’t be enough. Guys simply just don’t understand the following:
- Our periods.We’re not always on them, so implying it every time we get pissy (which could be as often as several times a day) eventually stops having meaning. Sometimes it’d be nice if they’d examine their own behavior instead of trying to make us feel crazy.
- Our faces are up here *points to face.*Sometimes they just forget, I guess?
- Just because something is comfortable doesn’t mean it should be worn in public. Yes, I’m talking about those guys who can’t seem to dress themselves and think it’s okay to wear sweatpants and old t-shirts to every occasion.
- Our feelings.We’re unpredictable, we’re moody, we’re easily offended. It doesn’t matter how often you explain how you feel to your man, because he will always just say he doesn’t get it and walk away.
- We notice every time they look at another woman.They try to deny it or fool us, but really, I’m being serious, we can tell. And all it does is piss us off more and make them look stupid.
- Not all women like the same things.We don’t care what your one-night-stand from last weekend liked. If you touch us here again, we’ll slap you and kick your dog.
- Waving their penis around in front of us does nothing.When we do stuff like that, it turns them on. But the other way around doesn’t apply. Isn’t it amazing how often they keep trying anyway, though?
- We don’t personally care about half the things they like.Fine, we’ll watch some sports, play some video games, listen to their favorite bands, and generally try to understand the appeal. But ultimately, we only care because they care, not because we now feel attached to vintage cars or action figures.
- When we go on trips, we pack a lot of stuff because we need more things. Have you seen those bottles of soap for men that also act as shampoo? Yeah, we have separate products for our hair and bodies because we’re not living in a cave.
- We actually like talking.No, we don’t think it’s annoying when our friends call us up to chat. Also, a grunt is not an answer; it’s an invitation to talk more about the feelings behind the grunt.
- When we’re being “difficult”, we’re just being considerate.We don’t want to tell you what we want all the time because we also want to do what you want to do, so stop asking us what we want and then getting mad when we don’t give you a straight answer.
