Honesty is the best policy, right? No way in hell. Sometimes it is an awful idea! Clearly, we shouldn’t go around lying all of the time, but sometimes an omission is a good decision. There are certain things that just don’t matter and will only do more harm than good. This is not a free pass to avoid telling your boyfriend you drunk texted your ex, but he probably doesn’t need to know you’ve done it more than once. Whoops.
Here are 11 things you probably don’t need to tell him if you don’t want to:
- The actual number of men you’ve slept with. If you actually know the number, then good on you! This doesn’t mean he needs to know, even if he asks. Men think this means something, when we know it for sure doesn’t. None of those guys are around anymore for a reason, so what does it matter if you hit the sack with them back in the day? It doesn’t. Men get way too butt hurt about this number, so avoid it altogether if you can.
- How much you spent on those shoes. If you make your own money and your bills are all taken care of, he doesn’t need to know you splurged a bit on those shoes. After all, you probably spoil him, too, and you don’t police him on his video game budget.
- All of the sordid details about your ex. The more you tell him, the more ammo he will have to be jealous — or worse, to be mad at your ex. Most guys don’t need any ammunition to want to beat the hell out of the last guy that broke your heart, and you don’t want to make him feel like he’s being punished for things your ex did — or worse, that he can’t live up to your sex god of an ex-boyfriend. Your ex was a d-bag. Just leave it at that.
- That he’s bad in bed. Now, don’t lie about this one, but don’t tell him he sucks in bed. He won’t want to have sex anymore if you do that. Instead, try giving him some ideas on what he could do to make it better for both of you. I bet he’ll be willing to try, so long as you don’t tell him it’s because he isn’t cutting it.
- How many details you give the girls about your relationship. We know people talk too much about their private affairs to their friends. That doesn’t mean you should tell him that you do it! Yes, he’s probably doing it, too, but this is one of those things where you’ll both be happier if you remain blissfully ignorant.
- That you met an old boyfriend for coffee. We’ve all had few guy friends we dated that just weren’t meant to be love interests, so we bounced right back to being friends. We don’t find them appealing in a romantic manner anymore, but we were such good friends before we started dating that it seemed foolish to just stop being friends. Boyfriends don’t seem to understand, so if you’re meeting one of these guy friends for a platonic date, maybe you should tell your guy you’re meeting one of your sorority sisters. He’ll just be needlessly jealous and your friendship with that guy will probably die.
- That you got really drunk last time you went out without him. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, or even if you haven’t, you probably don’t go out on the weekends without your man in tow. But when you do, sometimes it gets a little nuts with the girls. Maybe you had a rough night, or don’t even remember all of it. He probably doesn’t need to know that, and might put you on lockdown if you tell him.
- That a guy at work might be flirting with you. If you think a guy at work is flirting with you, you might want to avoid sharing this one. Guys will flirt with you even if you don’t flirt back, but boyfriends don’t seem to understand this. Unless you plan on quitting your job for the sake of your relationship, you should just avoid Mr. Flirty and not tell your man. He’ll automatically assume you’re flirting back.
- That you HATE his mother. Unless he also hates her, you probably shouldn’t tell him you hate her. His mom might suck and treat you like crap, but she’s still his mom. Don’t put him in a position where he feels like he has to choose between the two of you. Go ahead and tell him you think she doesn’t like you, but refrain from telling him the opposite is also true.
- That you snooped through his stuff. We’re all guilty. His phone is just sitting there, and you’re dying to know if he’s still talking to his ex. Even if he is or he isn’t, you might not want to tell him that you trust him so little that you went through his crap. Now, if you’ve found something drastic and he doesn’t tell you soon… maybe reconsider this one. But definitely don’t tell him if you found nothing.
- That you’ve stalked him and his ex on social media obsessively. Of course you want to know what she looked like and if they were cute together. It’s a sickness we all have — we just have to know. But he doesn’t need to know that you were a little nuts. He’s probably figured that one out on his own, anyway. Also don’t tell him that you’ve been stalking your ex and his new girlfriend, either.