11 Things You Should Never Have To Ask A Guy You’re Dating If He’s Serious About You

You’ve been dating for a while and you have some questions for your boyfriend. If he gets shifty about answering any of these questions or outright refuses to do so, that’s a serious red flag and you need to get out ASAP.

  1. Why won’t you introduce me to your family? After dating for a while, you naturally want to introduce your BF to your family and friends. He should be feeling the same. If it’s been months and he still hasn’t said, “Hey, my folks would love to meet you,” then he’s clearly not thinking in terms of long-term love.
  2. Do you really like me? If you’re not sure if he even likes you, there’s a huge problem! He shouldn’t just flirt with you and pay you the odd compliment—he should be making it clear that he’s totally smitten with you. You should feel loved around him. If that’s not happening, don’t even bother asking him this question. It won’t satisfy you because it’s really his actions that count. Talk is cheap.
  3. Where’s this going? There’s defining the relationship and then there’s demanding why your BF hasn’t put a title on your relationship. The latter is your last resort when it feels like the guy you’re dating will never actually want to have “The Talk.” But honestly, if you have to ask him what you are and where you stand, things don’t look good. He should be making his intentions clear instead of leaving you in the dark.
  4. Where were you last weekend? There’s nothing worse than trying to get in touch with your guy all weekend and only getting his voicemail. If you have to ask him this question, clearly he was going off the map on purpose. A guy who’s serious about you isn’t going to leave you hanging like that!
  5. Did you get my text? Of course he got your text. He just hasn’t bothered to reply. Instead of asking him this question, be a bit more aloof and stop initiating contact to see what he does. That or take the hint that you’re clearly not a priority to him.
  6. Why don’t you want to talk about your ex? A guy who won’t talk about his exes is a walking red flag! This isn’t the first date—you’ve been dating for weeks or even months. Why would he be so secretive if he had nothing to hide?
  7. Do you think you’ll propose to me in the future? Not only does this make it seem like you’re trying to rush him to the altar, but if it’s been years of dating and he still hasn’t popped the question, then maybe there’s a deeper reason for it. If he can’t talk to you about it or at least make you feel like you’re still on the path to a loving, long-term relationship, there’s a problem.
  8. What’s on your mind? No, you’re not curious. If you feel the need to ask him what he’s thinking about, it’s probably because you’re worried why he always looks spaced out and distracted in your company and why he’s struggling to communicate with you. Is he even present? If he’s with you, he should be giving you his undivided attention and telling you if there is something on his mind. Hello, you’re a couple!
  9. Do you want to hang out? Yes, in the early days of dating, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask him out on dates and check if his schedule is free but once you’re an official couple, you shouldn’t have to ask. He should be inviting you out on dates and making it clear that he can’t wait to see you. If you’re not sure when you’ll see him, things are stilted and not as serious as they should be. 
  10. Who’s that girl on your social media? If you keep seeing the same woman always posting comments on his FB posts or retweeting his tweets and he’s never mentioned her, it’s a red flag. What is he hiding? The thing is,  you shouldn’t have to ask him about someone who’s clearly a big part of his life (at least his virtual life, but still). He should be more of an open book with you if he’s keen on you.
  11. Are you happy with me? Um, if you’ve been dating for a while, he should show (and tell) you that he’s happy and proud to be with you on a regular basis. If you’re not sure, then that’s a red flag. He’s either playing his cards too close to his chest or he’s not really feeling things. Both suck. If your gut’s sending you some warning shots by making you think of this question, it’s in your best interest to pay attention to it.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.