11 Things To Remember If You’re Insecure About Your Vagina

As women, we’re inundated with opportunities to remove pubic hair, douche, wash, dazzle-up and surgically enhance so that we can “perfect” our vaginas, but they don’t need to be perfected. They’re already perfect. The next time you feel insecure about your lady bits, remember these things.

  1. No two labia are the same. Labia are the inner and outer folds or “lips” of the vulva that rest on either side of your vagina. They’re like luxurious curtains draped over your goodies reminding anyone that enters that it’s a sacred place. But here’s the thing—no two labia are the same, even on the same body. Some women have short labia and other women have longer labia. Some labia shrivel, some labia lay flat. The point is that everyone’s curtains come in a variety of shapes, colors, and lengths. Comparing your labia to another labia is literally like comparing watermelons to grapes to apples. They’re all nutritious, they’re all delicious and really good for you.
  2. Most guys don’t really care if you wax or not. The consensus varies, but generally speaking, dudes don’t really care as long as your hair is neat. Personally, I think that’s reasonable considering that I also don’t care if my guy is completely bare. I just expect things to be neat down here. That being said, do what makes you feel good. I wax because it’s less itchy for me and I hate pubic hair. Other women don’t mind their pubic hair and hate waxing because it hurts. As long as you’re confident about it, it’s all good.
  3. Everyone gets ingrown hairs. Let’s talk about ingrown hairs for a second—they freaking suck. Not only do they look hideous but they can be painful too. And if you’re like me, no amount of exfoliation serum can seem to get them to go away. Newsflash: you’re not alone. Every single woman deals with them. My advice? Find a good exfoliant to use a few times a week and maybe visit a dermatologist if it’s really bad, but also be forgiving of your body too.
  4. Cameltoe happens to all of us. It just means that the material you’re wearing clings to your body in a certain way. It isn’t because you have a defective vagina or anything like that.
  5. Vajazzling seems cool but its kind of dangerous. In recent years more women have been interested in vajazzling or adding glitter and other types of shiny jewel-like sequiny things to their vaginas to enhance them. If you’re thinking about curbing your insecurity by vajazzling, consider that adding anything to a sensitive area like that can be super dangerous for your vaginal health. Infections, bleeding, and other health problems have been linked to vajazzling. If you really want to do it though, be mindful that the vagina is a moist area and foreign objects can easily cause infection if they are in or around it for too long. So if you’ve gotta do it, maybe do it for a day or two. Otherwise, don’t do it.
  6. There’s no such thing as a loose vagina. If you’ve been walking this earth thinking that you have a loose vagina, I’m here to inform you that loose vaginas do not exist! The notion likely arose out of a nasty sexist myth about what happens when a woman has multiple partners. But the truth is that the vagina is an elastic muscle with the ability to expand and contract. (Hello, how else do you think it can usher a baby into this world and then snap back?) Your vagina expands during intercourse and childbirth but it contracts again.
  7. The vagina carries life into the world. The vagina is a freaking vessel of life! It literally expands and transforms into a birth canal. It is designed to carry a human life out of the womb and into the world. If that isn’t a reason not feel amazing about your body then I don’t know what is a good reason. The vagina is amazing. Period.
  8. A feminine wash isn’t always the answer. Plus, a lot of women think that feminine washes will improve their smell or taste but the vagina is self-cleaning. And sometimes, feminine washes can throw your pH out whack instead of regulating it. If something is wrong with your smell, you’ll know because you’ll smell it. Before spending money on feminine washes, talk to your doctor about your vaginal pH health and if you actually need it. You probably don’t.
  9. Porn is fake and shouldn’t be the standard of sexuality or beauty. Pornstars manufacture an erotic experience and a fantasy. It’s not real. A quick Google search about the porn industry will show you that porn performers use props, prosthetics, and other things to enhance the sexual experience that people watch. Yes, that even means fake vaginas and penises. Stop assuming that pornstars are the epitome and standard of sexuality. They aren’t. Many of them have their own insecurities about their bodies too. Everyone is human and everyone’s body is beautiful. Don’t fixate on porn.
  10. It gives you so many ways to feel pleasure. A vagina is a pleasure machine. You have so many places to feel amazing and it is worth exploring all of them. Talk to your partner about helping you locate those places or buy a personal sex toy to see if you can stimulate them yourself. The more you’re in touch with your own body’s pleasure mechanisms, the more secure you’ll feel about yourself.
  11. Any man who makes you feel like your vagina is inadequate is an ass. If a man ever tells you or suggests that your vagina is ugly or inadequate, you should dump him on the street because he clearly hasn’t had enough experience with vaginas to realize that they are diverse, beautiful, and wonderful parts of the female body. Find a man that can appreciate your vagina and in the meantime, find ways to cultivate your own special love for it.
Marie is an ambitious millennial woman, leading a corporate life by day and doing her best to live, laugh and love.