11 Things That Seem Like Deal-Breakers But Don’t Have To Be

While it’s important to have boundaries for what’s acceptable and what isn’t in a relationship, it’s sometimes easy to write someone off too quickly for little things that really don’t matter in the long run. Here are 11 deal-breakers that don’t have to destroy a potential relationship if you don’t let them.

  1. Your partner has annoying habits. Maybe they snore or chew gum while talking or like to take pictures of their food before eating it and it pisses you off. The thing to remember is that everyone has habits that irritate those around them. The important thing is that the habits are relatively minor and not something huge that gets in the way of your happiness.
  2. They text differently. We always go on about textual chemistry, but sometimes it’s not going to happen, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean that you should write them off so quickly. Maybe they’re just better in person than they are over text. Give them a chance to prove that to you before you delete their number.
  3. They haven’t introduced you to their folks… yet. Honestly, this is something big that can be a problem in the future, like if you’ve been dating for a year and your partner still won’t let you meet their parents. But if it’s still early days and everything else is going well and they’re showing you that they’re committed, then don’t jump the gun. Maybe they’re worried about how crazy their family is and that’s what’s making them take their time.
  4. Their family doesn’t like you. Now, what if you’ve met his family and they just don’t like you? Ouch. It hurts and can make you worry that the person’s not right for you because you know what they say: you marry your partner’s parents. In reality, if someone doesn’t like you, that doesn’t have to start a world war. You’re all grownups, so it doesn’t have to wreck your relationship.
  5. They have different hobbies. You might want to bond over shared interests and hobbies, but this isn’t always necessary for a happy relationship. It’s actually healthy to have your own hobbies in a relationship so you can go off and do your own thing from time to time and your partner can do the same.
  6. They’re shorter than you. Okay, so lots of straight women want to meet guys who are taller than them, but what if the he’s really sweet and awesome as a boyfriend? His height shouldn’t have to get in the way!
  7. They live far away. You might think that location is important so that you can keep a healthy relationship going strong, but what if your perfect partner lives an hour or three away from you? Should distance really be such a biggie? If you can work out a strategy for regular visits and screen time, distance shouldn’t mean a thing.
  8. They’re not that great in bed. Disclaimer: you should be with someone who pleasures you and with whom you have a connection on all levels, physical included. However, having sex with someone when you’re in a long-term relationship is more about communication and learning about each other’s needs than it is about having instant connections.
  9. They dated a lot before you. So the person was dating around in a big way when they were younger. So what? It’s how they are now that matters. Have they learned from their past mistakes? Have they grown emotionally? Are they really ready for an exclusive LTR? These are the questions that matter.
  10. They’re still studying. Maybe they were in a good career that they realized just wasn’t for them, so they decided to chase after their dream and that entails hitting the books again. Good for them. At least they’re going for what they want. Just because they’re still working on getting their degree, it doesn’t mean you should write them off. They might not have a lot of money right now, but that shouldn’t be what you’re after in a partner anyway.
  11. They’re still friends with an ex. Many people remain friends with their exes, and it doesn’t mean that they all want to jump into bed with them. If your partner’s kept their ex on their Facebook profile or regularly chats to the ex via text, that shouldn’t necessarily be a red flag. As long as your partner open about their friendship with their ex and doesn’t cross any boundaries with you, then this friendship shouldn’t get in the way of your blooming relationship.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.