11 Things You Worry About After A Good First Date

11 Things You Worry About After A Good First Date ©iStock/BraunS

It would be nice to be able to control the crazy and obsessive thoughts in our head. Why is it that after a good first date, we immediately start to panic? We start analyzing the date from beginning to end, trying to figure out what he meant by certain things he did or said. We begin to deconstruct different parts of the date to decide if he’s actually interested. It would be great if we could just let things happen without thinking about them too much, but that’s usually not the case. Here are 11 things most of us are guilty of obsessing about after meeting a guy we think we’d like to see again.

  1. Do I send a follow-up text? Should I tell him I had a good time? Not everyone is okay with playing the waiting game. We’re often unsure if we should wait for him to make the next move so as to not seem too desperate, or man up and text him ourselves. What if he’s thinking the same thing and waiting for us to text first? We’re not mind readers, and neither are they. We’re likely going to stress about whose job it is to text first after a great first date.
  2. How many other people is he dating? It’s never really a question of whether he actually is seeing other people, but rather how many other people he’s seeing? It’s no secret that we often date multiple people before deciding to commit to just one. It’s usually safe to assume that after date one, you’re not the only girl in the running.
  3. When will I hear from him again? Some guys are going to play the three-day game and others are going to text you right away to say they had a good time. Either way, the second the date ends, you’re going to start counting down until he contacts you again.
  4. He didn’t kiss me. What does that mean? Maybe he just sees me as a friend? Maybe he’s uber respectful and old fashioned? Does he kiss other girls on the first date? Was he not attracted to me? Should I have gone in for the kiss?
  5. What is he looking for? Is he looking for a relationship? A rebound to get over his ex? A casual fling? Someone to hang out with? After date one, he’s probably not even sure how he feels about you yet. But that won’t stop us from wondering what his intentions are.
  6. Did I come on too strong? You’re likely going to replay the date again and again in your head. Maybe you shouldn’t have complimented him so much? Perhaps you came off as too forward about what you’re looking for? It’s possible he’s looking for the girl who plays hard to get. No matter how well the date went, you’re always going to wonder if you played your cards right.
  7. Did I overdress? Better to be overdressed than underdressed, but were the heels too much? At least you looked hot.
  8. He didn’t pay. What does that mean? Your guy friends will tell you that if he didn’t pay, he probably doesn’t like you the way you want him to. They’ll say that if he wanted to impress you, he would have fronted the bill. But your girl friends will tell you it’s the 21st century and that there’s nothing wrong with splitting the bill. You may even convince yourself that he was testing you just to make sure you’re not just looking for a free dinner. Every guy is different. Not paying can mean many different things. And can count on yourself to run through every possible reason in your head.
  9. Did I say too much? Maybe I shouldn’t have brought up my ex, or told him about my most embarrassing moment, or admitted to one of my bad habits. It’s normal to ramble when you’re nervous or volunteer too much information when you’ve had a bit to drink. Sure, you’re going to worry that you may have been too open and scared him away, but do you really want to be with someone you can’t be completely honest with?
  10. Did he like me? I thought it went well, but what did he think? Am I his type? Was I what he was expecting? You are going to over analyze everything he said, every gesture he made, and everything that happened to try and see if all signs point to yes.
  11. Will I see him again? And of course, everything you worry about after a good first date leads up to the ultimate question: will there be a date two?
Suzanne is a twenty something living in Toronto, Canada. When she doesn't have her professional pants on from 9-5, she is getting lost in a good book, a yoga class, or a tall glass of wine.
She has a severe case of the travel bug, a serious love affair with food and will never say no to puppy-sitting.