Having a new crush on someone great can be a lot of fun. You feel butterflies every time you see them, your heart races when they so much as say hello, and you’re generally on cloud nine 24/7. But are you even enjoying the rush? If you’re overthinking the following 11 things, you need to learn to chill a bit.

When is he going to text?

You might’ve enjoyed your recent chat with your crush so much that you can’t wait for him to text you again. But bear in mind, not everyone wants to text daily. Some guys might also be wary of texting too often or too much in case it’s off-putting.

Does he actually like me?

It’s not always easy to know if your crush likes you or not, especially in the really early days. But enjoy what happens and allow things to unfold before you get anxious about it. Plenty of time for that later!

What is he doing?

You might find yourself wondering what he’s up to and with whom, but that sort of thinking can become an unhealthy habit that results in you feeling like you want to keep checking up on him. That can be seriously clingy. Although you’re curious to know what he’s up to, wait for the next time you chat to see what he’s been doing.

Is he really busy?

The “b” word—”busy”—has such a bad reputation in the dating game. We’ve come to expect that any guy who claims he’s busy is really just a jerk who doesn’t want to talk to us, but this isn’t always the case. If your crush said he was going to have a busy day, take that as a sign he’ll text you when he has some time. Give him a chance and do your own stuff in the meantime.

Who’s that woman on his social media?

Maybe you’ve noticed some other woman who’s always posting on his FB wall or retweeting his funny tweets. Hmmm. It might just be an internet friend or real life buddy—it doesn’t always mean that it’s some other woman who’s crushing on him as much as you are.

Why is he typing but not saying anything?!

Aargh, is there anything more frustrating than having a text chat with someone and seeing that they’re often typing something but not sending it? Before you freak out, consider that they’re just nervous about what they’re thinking of sending you. Once you become more comfortable with each other, the texting will flow better. In the meantime, leave your phone alone and only check it when you actually receive a message notification.

Why is he checking in but not talking?

The guy who texts you to check in by saying “hi” or “what’s up?” but then doesn’t engage in conversation is annoying. Yes, it could mean that he’s not that interested in having a real conversation, but it could also be his way of testing the water before he becomes more comfortable with you. If you really like him, you might try to initiate more conversations to try to get things flowing, but don’t make too much of an effort. You need to see that he’ll step up and meet you halfway. If he doesn’t, he’s not your person.

What did he mean when he said that?

When you’re interested in someone, every little thing they say and do can become huge in your eyes. You might scrutinize it all with a magnifying glass, but be careful that you’re not reading too much into it. If he said “k,” maybe he meant OK—it doesn’t have to mean that he doesn’t want to talk! If he said he’d like to make a plan “sometime,” it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’ll bail on you or he’s just blowing you off. If you read too much into things, it can drive you crazy. He’ll reveal who he really is in time. Be patient.

Why hasn’t he asked me out on a date yet?

Relax. You haven’t been speaking to your crush for very long. He might want to make sure you’re interested and that there’s a connection between you before taking things into the romantic realm. Take the time to get to know him too so you’re sure about him. Who knows? You might discover that you actually don’t want to go on a date with him after all.

What if he disappoints me?

It’s normal to wait for the other shoe to drop. You’ve met a guy, he’s awesome, and you’re crushing on him hard. That doesn’t mean he’s going to reveal himself as being a total jerk, so don’t stress that he’s going to disappoint you at any second. This just sends out dark energy that others can pick up on. Plus, it makes you stress and you shouldn’t let anyone stress you out so much.

He’s perfect!

You might think about your crush so much that you start to create an imaginary person in your mind. You’re imagining things he’ll say and do, without really basing these on any facts. Dreaming about him as an ideal partner is just as damaging as expecting him to disappoint you—it’s unrealistic and can cause unnecessary expectations or stress. Wait and see what he’s about and believe him when he shows you.

Don’t let anxiety ruin the experience—relax and take it one day at a time! This is time you won’t get back and even if things don’t work out, you can still appreciate that it’s fun while it lasted. Enjoy your crush for what it is and if it becomes something more, all the better! 

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