11 Things You’re Doing That Scare Men Off

11 Things You’re Doing That Scare Men Off ©iStock/DGLimages

Do you ever feel like you’re a man repellent? It could be that you’re doing something to scare off potential love interests, which means you’re ruining your own chance at a healthy relationship. If you want guys to start lining up at your door, check to see if you’re guilty of any of the following:

  1. Moving too fast. Don’t get too comfortable too quickly — slow it down. Building a relationship takes time. Date for a little while and when you’re ready, then commit. Once you’re exclusive, don’t worry about getting to the next step. Enjoy each part while it lasts so you can both enjoy a natural transition. 
  2. Being too available. You should have your own life, don’t just cling on to your boyfriend’s. It’s important to have time apart, and there should be other stuff going on in your life than just your relationship. So have a girl’s night, keep up with your hobbies, and don’t let your relationship affect your career.
  3. Acting overly sensitive. You need to learn to take a joke. Guys are constantly poking fun at each other, so if you can’t laugh at yourself (and him), it’s going to be a problem. While he should be respectful and caring, if you’re getting bummed out over every little comment, it’s high time you found a sense of humor.
  4. Being bossy. Men don’t want someone coming into their life telling them what to do — would you? Relationships require compromise, but that should be on equal terms, not all on yours.
  5. Being needy. Don’t expect a guy to give up every priority he had before you. It’s not just about time, it’s also about the love and attention you require. Love him for who he is and not because he pays you endless compliments.
  6. Acting like his mother. A man doesn’t need another woman to baby him. He gets enough of that from his mom. You don’t need to tell him what to do or how to do it — you’re partners and should treat each other as such.
  7. Letting jealousy get the best of you. It’s insecurity, and it’s not attractive. Men want confident women that don’t need a man to make them feel better about themselves. Learn to trust your boyfriend or jealousy might just be the thing to drive him away.
  8. Being possessive. It’s not just about acting out against the ladies — women can be possessive against other men, too. If he wants a guys’ night out, let him have it. It’s good for you to spend time apart and learn to share. 
  9. Texting too much. He has other responsibilities in his life and doesn’t need his phone clutched in his hand 24/7. Not only is it annoying, it also makes him wonder why you don’t have anything else going on in your life.
  10. Being dramatic. Does drama follow you everywhere you go? If so, that’s a big problem for your dating game. Not only are you constantly surrounded by stress, but you’re also bound to bring the drama back to your relationship. It’s too much work and a whole lot of unhappiness for him.
  11. You overshare. It’s not just the gross TMIs you put out there — it’s also the fact that you get in too deep, too soon. If a man wants to take the time to get to know you, let it happen naturally. Don’t pile on your life story with every bad thing that’s ever happened to you on the first date. Save the serious for later on, and keep it simple for the start.

A relationship should come easy, so stop taking everything so seriously. If it’s too much work, it’s probably not right. Exude confidence and happiness, and you’ll be surprised how many men you’ll attract.

Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.