Re-entering the dating scene after a lengthy hiatus? Getting back into the game can be both a relief and a source of self-doubt for some people. Having no idea what to do or what to avoid, you’re afraid you’ll make a mistake. Even if you’re feeling a little rusty right now, here are some tips for dating guys that should help alleviate some of your stress.
- Take it one step at a time. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, don’t expect it to be quick or easy. You’re not going to find your forever person tomorrow, and besides, it’s not a good idea to jump in head-first right away. Unhappiness and heartbreak can result from letting in just anyone who shows interest in you. Before making a commitment to anyone, you should proceed slowly and cautiously, taking your time to truly get to know him to be sure.
- Get a little help from your friends. Friends who have recently been in (or are currently in) the dating scene can help you if you’re feeling nervous by giving you tips on what it’s like going out with guys these days. Ask them about what’s new and what to expect. Your friends can help you overcome your anxieties by sharing their own experiences and offering advice based on what they’ve learned in the recent past. When you have an insightful conversation with a trusted friend, it improves your confidence and may experience a light bulb moment that changes everything.
- Don’t overdo it. Dating should not be the primary focus of your life. Scheduling dates every day is putting yourself under undue pressure. You should take a break between dates to recharge. Taking a break allows you to reflect on your dates in a more detached manner. What did you discover about him? What would you like to explore next? You’ll get closer to your goal if you ask questions like these. If you’re going to follow any of these dating tips with guys you meet, let it be this one.
- Don’t fall for him until you’ve met in person. This is one of the most vital tips for dating guys there is! A face-to-face meeting is very different from an online match because all communication has taken place via text. When you get together in person, that’s when you can really begin to judge any potential chemistry. Set up a meeting with a potential date as soon as possible to avoid becoming too attached to someone or something that isn’t even real. If your date’s voice doesn’t sound anything like the texts and messages you’ve read, you may be in for a surprise. Expect these things so that you don’t set yourself up for disappointment. That being said, even if he does end up being different from what you fantasized about, that doesn’t make him unsuitable.
- Stay off your damn phone. Now’s not the time to be scrolling through your phone. Show that you value his time by giving him your undivided attention. You can check out Instagram or post that meme on Twitter when your date is over. While you’re together, you don’t need any additional distractions because not only will that take away from the experience, it’s just rude. This isn’t just one of the most overlooked tips for women dating guys, but for anyone hanging out with anyone else in general.
- Keep an open mind. Maybe you feel like you have a pretty good idea about your “type,” but that hasn’t been working out that well so far, so why are you sticking to it so rigidly. Therapist and dating expert Kimberly Seltzer says one of the best tips when meeting new guys is to be open to all different kinds of them so that you don’t miss out on someone unexpected but amazing. “When you’re too target specific, you close yourself off to so much,” she says. The guys you’re dating haven’t exactly been keepers, so following these tips could change your game.
More tips for dating guys when it’s been a while
- Manage your expectations. Being optimistic without being unrealistic is one of the best tips for when it comes to dating guys. You probably won’t be meeting your own personal Chris Hemsworth anytime soon, and that’s okay. When you meet your date, instead of immediately picking out flaws and differences right away, take into account how you feel about him as a whole and open your mind enough to give him a real chance. Breakup and life fulfillment coach Sharon Stokes recommends reshaping your perspective to get the most out of every date. “The dating world can be exhausting, especially if you’re a bit of a serial dater and not really connecting with anyone. To help keep yourself present and motivated to keep dating, ask yourself what you can learn from this person,” she advises. “You may not feel any sparks from the moment your eyes meet, but instead of watching the clock and ducking out ASAP see what interesting little nuggets you pick up from this person. We can always learn from each other and who knows, it could lead to a whole new life adventure!”
- Don’t try too hard. If you end up liking him, it’s all too easy to be swept off your feet. Here’s where you should set limits on yourself. Don’t try to force things to happen, but instead let them flow naturally and see where it goes. If it’s meant to be, it will work out in the end without you having to work yourself into the ground forcing something that’s just not there. It will never work and you deserve better. While traditional dating tips advise you to show enthusiasm with guys, you also don’t want to get too carried away.
- Don’t be afraid to ask questions. This is one of the best and most important dating tips for guys and girls alike. Making conversations can be one of the hardest tasks. The easy way out is to choose to be the listener. Ask questions and really listen to his response so you can get to know him and what kind of person he is. Ask about his favorite music, what his high school was like, who his friends are, how close he is to his family, what’s going on with his career, etc. While he talks, look at him and keep comfortable eye contact. It’s a sign that you’re a good communicator.
- Don’t sell yourself short. You deserve nothing but the best. Learn to recognize who you are and what you want and hold tight to those things. It’s important to have high standards when it comes to how a guy should treat you — kindness, courtesy, honesty, and respect are non-negotiable. This is not the same as writing someone off just because he wears stone-washed jeans or really loves John Mayer. If he treats you with love and kindness, a few differences in taste and mundane choices may be something you can live with. A lot of dating tips will remind you not to go out with terrible guys, but they don’t often go into why it’s worth staying single until you meet one who’s on your level.
- Wear what makes you feel fierce. How you dress can boost your confidence and have a huge effect on your emotions. Don’t overthink things here. It’s just a date. Sometimes less is more when it comes to dressing up. Keep it simple and classy. Make certain that your clothing is fresh and clean. Pick clothes appropriate for the occasion that make you feel like a million bucks. If you feel good, you look good, right?
- Relax and have fun. At the end of the day, dating is supposed to be an enjoyable experience, not one you dread. One of the best tips for dating guys is to just chill out a bit. Put your best foot forward and see what happens. “When dating, always put forth your full energy and effort. Being enthusiastic means more passionate relationships and a deeper intimacy with our significant other. You will never have to wonder ‘what if I tried a little harder?’ Put it all out there; go for it!” says Joshua Evans, CEO/Founder at Enthusiastic You! That sounds like perhaps one of the best tips for dating guys (and girls!) to me!