When you realize that the new guy in your life is almost your boyfriend but will never quite be the real deal, it can be disappointing, to say the least. The more often this happens, the worse it is. You go through a lot of stages before you realize things aren’t going to work out the way you hoped. Here are 11 types of almosts you have when he’s never, ever going to be your boyfriend:
- You almost have a first date. The truth is that when you go on a first date with someone who’s going to be your almost BF, it’s like it’s not even a first date at all. It’s almost but not quite like one, and you can totally tell. You get the vibe that this guy might not be totally mature or emotionally there, and yet you still really like him, so you’re willing to try this out.
- You almost get excited. You’re totally thrilled that you’ve met this cool guy… only you know deep down that he might not be that cool after all. There’s something missing and you might not be able to put your finger on it yet, but you will soon. Your excitement is totally ruined by your confusion and worry that things aren’t going to go well.
- You almost get to know him. You figure that at some point in the future, you’ll know this guy as well as you know yourself. You know that you should already know this stuff about him, especially since you two seem to be dating. The problem is, since he’s your almost boyfriend, he’s just not sharing anything.
- You almost have some hope. Generally, when you get past the second or third date, you feel super hopeful about where things are going with this new guy. You’re so sick of awful dates and not connecting with anyone that when it seems clear that you finally are into someone, it’s really awesome. Of course, you can’t have any hope here because this guy is keeping a bit of distance.
- You almost change your routine. You know that you should always live your life and that you should never give up your habits, hobbies and besties for a guy… but the fact that you’re still living your regular life is kind of a problem in this type of situation. You almost change your routine because this guy is never going to commit to you and you’re never going to be able to share your lives.
- You almost have fun together. On the one hand being with this new guy is magical and amazing, and on the other, your head is never 100 percent in the game because you know that something is up.
- You almost meet each other’s friends and family. Maybe he agrees to come to a family get-together and he says hey to everyone but disappears halfway through the evening to stare at his phone or leaves early. Maybe he meets your BFFs at a party but doesn’t remember your names. You kind of meet each other’s people, but it’s not in the context of being boyfriend and girlfriend and it’s way too casual.
- You almost commit. You’re not dating other people, but you’re not truly dating each other, either, because you’re not in a committed relationship and you can’t call him your boyfriend. Since your every thought is consumed by this guy and you would never dream of dating someone else right now, that’s not great news.
- You almost feel the pieces are in place. When you’re single and dating, it’s like your life is an unfinished puzzle. It’s beautiful and amazing and you wouldn’t trade it for anything. Finding love is the missing piece and when you’ve got an almost boyfriend, you’re almost there. You’re so close, but you’re never going to get there… at least not with this guy.
- You almost break up. Can you get dumped or dump someone you were never officially with? The jury is still out on that one. You go through the stages of denial and anger and feeling totally down, so it definitely feels like a breakup. At the same time, you’re not as miserable as you would be if you actually loved this guy, and you’re probably not breaking into the ice cream or the sad songs or the rom-coms.
- You almost get over him. It’s kind of funny when you think about getting over someone that you were never truly in a relationship with in the first place. Since you never really dated him, how can you have any closure? How can you move on? You can’t… and you totally can. So along with these other almosts that you always experience in this type of crappy situation, you almost get over this guy. You’re going to wonder what went wrong and what could have been… until you meet someone new, of course. Hopefully, there’ll be nothing almost about him.
