11 Types Of Casual Encounters You Should Have Before Settling Down

Whether it’s in between relationships or before you settle down for good with a partner you plan to be with for the long haul, every woman should experience some casual encounters in the bedroom. NSA action is one of the best ways to figure out what you like in a partner without having to get into the sticky fumblings of a serious relationship. It’s also fun. So what types of casual encounters should you put on your bedroom bucket list? These 11, for starters:

  1. Hookup calls. It’s 2 a.m. on a Thursday and you get a text from that guy you only hear from when he’s been drinking. His text is a vague, “Hey!” but you know exactly what you that means since it’s the same text you sent him a week ago. You know within 20 minutes that if he doesn’t pass out first, you’ll be doing it.
  2. Friends with benefits encounters. The friends with benefits arrangement is always a good thing to have around because although it’s casual, there’s the intimate part of a friendship in there too. What this means is that after you get down, you can actually have a real conversation as opposed to a fake one about the weather or whatever else strangers talk about after doing the deed.
  3. Secret encounters. I think we’ve all had that person that we’re not super excited that we’re sleeping with so we keep our dalliances with them a secret. However, despite the fact that you’re not coming clean about this person, for whatever reason, you keep going back for more NSA fun with him. It’s awesome because it’s not just casual, but if you run into him in public, you can pretend you don’t know him too.
  4. Ex encounters. Casual encounters with an ex are great because they already know what you like and what you don’t like — but more importantly, you know what you really love. That being said, it ex only works if your feelings for them are long gone. You can’t sleep with someone you’re still into and call it casual because feelings.
  5. Revenge encounters. Whether it’s because your partner cheated on your or your relationship came to an end and you just want to sleep with someone, revenge intimacy perfect for this mindset. It’s not just casual but therapeutic too, because you’re literally the anger out of your bones.
  6. One-night stand encounters. You meet someone at a bar, get their first name, take them home, sleep together and send them on their way either right afterward or just as the sun starts to come up. It’s easy, it scratches an itch, and you both know where you stand on it so there’s no awkward nonsense about exchanging numbers that you know neither one of you will never call.
  7. Anonymous encounters. Although similar to regular one-night stands, in this case you don’t even bother to get his name or even take them home. This is the type of intimacy that gets done in the back of a cab or in the bathroom of your favorite dive bar. Rarely do you peak but you just did it in a bathroom, so really, who cares? You get points for making love in public with this one too.
  8. Bad encounters. Sorry, but every woman should have a bad casual encounter at least once. And when I say bad, I mean really bad — like one of you fell asleep or puked kind of bad.
  9. Awesome encounters. On the flip side, every woman should have an awesome casual encounter at least once. As in, experiencing ecstasy until the break of dawn kind of awesome. It’s only fair after the inevitable bad casual encounter that you’re going to have at one point.
  10. Drunk encounters. As long as it’s totally consensual, drunk love-making is where it’s at because your inhibitions go out the window and sometimes you want that. Besides, if you take home someone from the bar, its not like you’re going to be sober anyway. Unless you’re a teetotaller, but if you were, you wouldn’t be at the bar in the first place.
  11. Blast from the past encounters. With this one, you’re sleeping with someone you meet up with back home over the holidays or at a high school reunion. Perhaps you had a crush on them or they had a crush on you, but either way, you know it’s going to be a one-time thing because you moved away from that Podunk town and they didn’t — but hey, they’ll do for the next hour or two.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.