11 Ways To Be The Best Girlfriend He’s Ever Had

While every woman should strive to be more than just someone’s girlfriend, it’s normal to want to be a great partner. Being the best sounds like it takes a ton of work, the reality is that it should come quite naturally—just do these things.

  1. Be yourself. The best girlfriends are the ones who know the importance of being yourself. Don’t try to be something or someone you’re not. Don’t dumb yourself down, as some women tend to do with their male partners. Don’t turn into a footstool or light yourself on fire to keep him warm. Just keep doing you and do you 100%.
  2. Be real. In addition to being yourself, be real. You’re not a model, a porn star, or a Barbie. You have morning breath in the mornings, stubble on your legs after a week, and fart in your sleep. Why? Because that’s what being a real live human is like. It’s not always pretty, it’s far from perfect, and if you ask around, the majority of people wouldn’t want it any other way.
  3. Give him space. Even if you’re head over heels in love, being the best means backing the eff up. People need their space. People need to know who they are without someone else constantly in their face. They need to know that they have the support of loved ones but don’t always need to see those loved ones. You can’t expect someone to be the person they’re meant to be if there’s constantly someone hanging on their shoulders preventing them from growing.
  4. Be honest. It doesn’t matter if it’s going to hurt like hell, the best girlfriends are honest. The subject can be anywhere from as small as how his new haircut makes him look, to any acts of betrayal on your part. Honesty isn’t just necessary in being the best girlfriend, but it’s necessary in being part of the human race and being alive. You owe it to yourself and everyone around you to always be honest.
  5. Have your own life. In your own life, you have your own friends, your own hobbies, your own interests, and even your own holidays away. This is so essential to healthy relationships and to be the best girlfriend any guy could possibly want. Too many women let themselves get absorbed by their partner and become a shadow of the person they used to be. In the process, they lose everything that was once theirs and simply become the female version of their boyfriend. Don’t do that. Never give up your life and your relationships with other people for anyone.
  6. Believe in conflict resolution. Arguing is totally healthy and normal in any relationship. But what some people tend to forget is that you can’t argue without believing in conflict resolution. Storming off mid-argument or letting each other go to bed angry never got anyone anywhere. It’s those who work to resolve each and every argument, even the petty ones, who thrive in their relationship.
  7. Be open-minded. Whether it’s about your boyfriend’s kinky fetish or the way he so poorly justifies his right to have the last cookie, the best girlfriend is open-minded about the big stuff and the little stuff. You’re accepting of all the bits and pieces of him, even the ones you’re not crazy about, and you love him with an open heart.
  8. Be his cheerleader. It’s hard to reach your goals if you don’t have a network of people cheering you on. That’s why you need to be your partner’s cheerleader even if you’re not 100% behind his goal of being a magician. When you love someone and commit to be their partner, you always commit to cheering them on in every race, no matter what might be at the finish line.
  9. See and hear him. Looking and listening are not the same as seeing and hearing. When we see and hear, we dig past the exterior and really uncover who people are and what they mean. You can’t be the best girlfriend your boyfriend has ever had if you’re not willing to really get in there and truly understand him and all his complexities.
  10. Have expectations of him. While some might say that having expectations of others is a bad thing, when you think about it, it really isn’t. It’s important to give both you and your partner things to aspire to and work toward. No person or relationship can stay stagnant, and if there aren’t any expectations, that’s exactly what will happen. It’s only when those expectations become unrealistic that they’re a bad thing. As long as they’re in the realm of being attainable, that’s a good thing.
  11. Love yourself. As you’ve probably heard a hundred times before, you can’t really love anyone until you love yourself first. This is absolutely true. If you want to be the best girlfriend, you have to be able to love yourself first. Then and only then will you be able to love your boyfriend fully and be the best girlfriend he’s ever had.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.