Love is a beautiful thing and all that but it’s also a pain in the butt sometimes. While rom-coms and love songs like to paint love as a magical fairytale, there are definitely some downsides to finding “The One” (or the one you think might be “The One”).
It’s not always about you.
When you’re not in a relationship, it’s easy to fall into the routine of being a little selfish, doing things your way, and not putting too much weight on what others think. Being in love turns that reality upside down. All of a sudden you have to think about this person who you deeply care about and consider them in all you do. You start to realize that your life is no longer about only you but about what’s best and what works for both of you.
Sometimes you have to back down.
Becoming confident in who you are, your opinions and your beliefs about life is a process that takes time. However, I’ve found that when you’re in love, you have to accept that you might have to agree to disagree and you definitely won’t always be right about everything. It’s important to remember that even though you sometimes need to back down from arguments, it doesn’t mean that you are disregarding yourself. You just value the relationship more in those moments.
You won’t always like your partner.
The first stages of falling in love can be blissful! That over-the-top love doesn’t prepare you for the times when your partner might challenge you when you’re not ready to be challenged or disagree with you on something you feel strongly about. In those moments, love will be what gets you through and keeps your relationship solid. You may not always like the person you’re dating but loving them will go a long way.
Love isn’t enough to save you.
It goes without saying that love comes with its fair share of ups and downs. The downs will sometimes make you question if the relationship is worth it. It takes commitment and effort from both sides to work through difficulties and ensure your relationship continues to thrive. However, it takes wisdom and acceptance to accept when things just aren’t working out.
You’ll often be challenged.
On some days you’ll look at your romantic partner and wonder why you fell in love with them. They can hurt you the most because you’ve been the most vulnerable to them. Still, knowing that it’s human to make mistakes and taking the time to empathize with your partner while also clearly communicating your feelings and expectations should help you overcome some tough stuff.
It takes continuous effort.
You may instinctively feel that you are your partner are compatible and understand each other on a deep level, but once the honeymoon stage is over, you quickly find out that to keep your relationship healthy, you have to work at it. You need to be prepared to have uncomfortable conversations and confrontations. Thankfully, working through these rough patches can usually make your relationship stronger and deepen your love and connection.
Sometimes you still have to put yourself first and your partner may not understand.
Yes, your partner should always be a priority in your life, but if you want your love to be sustainable, there are times that you have to forgo meeting your partner’s wants and needs so that you can take care of yourself. When you make time for yourself outside of the relationship, you’ll be equipped to be a better partner in the moments you share as a couple.
Compromise is a must.
Certain people think that if you’re in love, that means you can do anything and still be unconditionally loved by your partner. That’s definitely not true—you can’t have everything your way. Sometimes you have to compromise so that you can make room for you and your partner to coexist in harmony while respecting each other’s boundaries and values.
It’s possible to lose yourself.
When you’re in love with someone, it’s inevitable that you’ll want to create traditions that involve things you enjoy doing together, things you both find funny and form an identity as a couple. However, when you’re too focused on the relationship, you can lose your sense of self to the point that you can’t feel whole or complete without them. It can create an unhealthy codependence and that’s definitely not good.
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