11 Signs His Ex Could Be Trouble For Your Relationship

Your boyfriend exists he’s over his ex, which might be the case — but what about her? Has she moved on or is she still hoping to reconcile with him? While it’s ultimately up to your guy to put a stop to any unnecessary drama to protect his relationship with you, here are a few signs his ex may try to cause problems between you:

  1. Since she’s been single, they’ve been in contact a lot more. When she had a boyfriend, she went for months without really chatting to your boyfriend. Now that she’s back on the single scene, she’s texting him to say hi and seeing what he’s up to. Could she be looking for a boyfriend replacement?
  2. She’s a boyfriend recycler. When you and your BF spoke about your exes, mentioned that this one is quite fond of going back to exes when she was single. You couldn’t help but worry that one day she’d try to get your BF back, and now that she’s single and getting in touch, it does make you wonder…
  3. She’s moved closer to him. A great bonus was that she lived far, far away. She was studying in Europe or had moved to another state, so even if you were worried about her making a comeback, you knew that it would be a much more difficult task than simply visiting him because she was driving in the neighborhood. But now she’s moved back to his area and doesn’t really know for how long. How convenient.
  4. She knows things about his life he hasn’t even told you yet. You log onto your boyfriend’s Facebook timeline and see his ex congratulating him for his job promotion. He hadn’t even told you about that! This is messed up and makes you worry she’s become the first person he talks to when something happens to him. Even if she’s his best friend, you should be his priority and first call. No exceptions!
  5. She’s needy AF. She asks him to walk the dogs they used to own together when she’s out of town. She asks him to drive her into work when her car’s getting a service. It seems she always needs your BF for something, but he doesn’t owe her anything anymore. She clearly has no boundaries.
  6. She’s the one who ended the relationship. She was the one who initiated the breakup with your BF and he never got closure — or perhaps he didn’t even want to end things. That’s troubling because it could signal that she knows he still has unresolved feelings and is about to prey on them.
  7. She constantly tries to bond with him over the past. You see this on social media and perhaps even in real life. They laugh together over funny things that happened to them when they were together. They’re always bringing up the past as though trying to relive it. Even if you’re invited along to these get-togethers, you feel like you don’t have a place there.
  8. Her name comes up a lot. It’s worrying enough when her name keeps coming up during everyday conversations, but it’s even worse when her name crops up during emotional moments in your relationship. You’re in the middle of a couples fight and he mentions something she said — WTF? Or you’re chatting about sexual preferences and he’s telling you about what they used to do to keep the spark alive. Oh, hell no. She’s found a way to get into his mind and it doesn’t look like she’s leaving.
  9. She invites him to her family gatherings. When her dad is hosting a football party at his house, she calls your BF and invites him to attend. When her aunt is having a Christmas party, she says how fun it would be to have your BF there. Ugh. Clearly her family was close to him and maybe your BF really loved them. Still, he needs to have boundaries because otherwise it’s like he’s re-enacting activities they did when they were a couple. Shady AF.
  10. She asks him for advice. It might seem pretty harmless when she calls him up and asks him for advice on something, sort of like a mate asking him for stuff. But it’s a clever way to boost his ego and make him feel important to her. That’s the danger here because you don’t want them to become confidantes.
  11. She gets trash-talked by him. You might think that when your boyfriend speaks badly about his ex, it’s a good sign that he’s over her and she has no hold over him whatsoever. But honestly, it could be the opposite. Anger is a form of passion. He could be angry with her because he misses her or he’s pissed about her having tossed him aside. So remember: any form of mentionitis, even the one that shows her in an less than glamorous light, is worthy of making you stay on guard so you don’t get your heart played.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.