9 Things You Should Stop Obsessing About In Your Relationship

We’ve all been guilty of obsessing about every element of our relationships from time to time, especially when it’s new or things are rocky. Sadly, it never actually helps you — it can come across as needy or insecure and it’ll make you miserable, to boot. It’s time to let go of these 9 things you should stop obsessing about in your relationship:

  1. Who loves whom more? Stop it. It’s silly and it’s juvenile. If you start focusing on the idea that you love him more than he loves you, it’s only going to become a reality.
  2. Who works harder? If you both split the work, then stop tallying the hours it took you to do the laundry vs. him to clean the bathroom. You’re not siblings fighting over chores — you’re adults in an equal partnership. Start acting like it.
  3. Who makes more money? We’ve already determined that you both work hard, so why does it matter who makes more money? You should both be rooting for each other in your careers, and acting jealous or being bitter isn’t supportive.
  4. Who sent the first text? You’re in a relationship now, so stop playing games. If you text him first in the morning, who cares? Girls typically have more to say, anyway. I guarantee he’s not obsessing over this, so why should you?
  5. Where is he? You’re not his keeper. You don’t need to know where he is and what he’s doing 24/7. If you’re constantly keeping tabs, he’s going to feel suffocated, and obsessing will only make things worse.
  6. Does he think about me? If you’re dating, then he obviously thinks about you. If you’re worrying about this, then you’re probably thinking about him a little too much. Don’t let your relationship consume your life. You should have things to spend the day on other than dreaming about your man. 
  7. Does he consider me ‘The One’? Some people believe in “The One”, others don’t. But does that really matter to your relationship? He’s with you for a reason, He chooses you every day — isn’t that enough?
  8. Why does he want time away from me? When it comes to relationships, it’s healthy to spend some time apart. If your boyfriend needs a guys’ night, let him have it. It doesn’t mean he’s sick of you, it just means he wants to see his friends and bro out for a night. 
  9. Who’s putting in a bigger effort? Your relationship isn’t a competition. It should make you happy to see your partner happy, so why the worry? If you’re not happy in the relationship, you have a much bigger problem on your hands.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has been blogging for over four years and writing her whole life. Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. She enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.