At the start of a new relationship, it’s impossible to pretend that either of you hasn’t been with other people before. For the most part, it’s fine to talk about your ex and your past relationships, but that doesn’t mean sharing everything. As a guy, here are some things your new boyfriend probably doesn’t want to hear about your ex.
How he handled a particular situation
In general, you should avoid direct comparisons between your current boyfriend and your ex. Don’t say, “Well, my ex would it do this way and it was way better.” We guys can be sensitive too and we don’t want to think that we have to live up to your ex or are constantly being compared to him. After all, there’s a reason you’re not with that guy anymore, right? Just let your new boyfriend be himself.
The vacation he took you on
Again, avoid making comparisons. This may make your new boyfriend feel bad about not taking you on some magical holiday abroad. You also don’t want your new boyfriend to start visualizing you and your ex on some romantic getaway in Hawaii or Fiji. That’s not an image he wants in his head.
The size of his manhood
This should be obvious, but guys don’t want to know anything about the other guys that have been intimate with their current girlfriend. Of course, you should share anything that’s related to your sexual health, but try to spare the details as much as possible. Whether it was good or bad, your current boyfriend doesn’t want to know about your sex life with past lovers.
His biggest fetish
On a related note, don’t talk about weird things your ex-boyfriend liked to do in bed; that’s why you have girlfriends. Even if you’re trying to make your boyfriend laugh by trashing your ex, he doesn’t want to hear the details. If you’re sharing secrets about your ex, it’ll make him wonder what you’ll be saying about you if you ever break up.
How much money he made
This is another comparison and it’s a big one. How much money a guy has shouldn’t be a competition, but some get a little sensitive about the topic. Your current boyfriend doesn’t want to hear about a rich ex who would buy you expensive gifts all the time. Even if it’s accompanied by explaining how much of a jerk he was, all your current boyfriend will hear is that you dated a lot guy with a lot of money and he doesn’t stack up.
The “how you met” story
Unless your current boyfriend specifically asks about how you met your ex, don’t tell that story because he doesn’t want to hear it. Even after you broke up with someone, the “how you met” story can still come off as charming and romantic. Your new boyfriend doesn’t want to compete with that or hear any of the details about how you fell for some other guy.
His best qualities
It may seem petty, but try to limit the positive things you say about your ex as much as possible. He may be a good guy and that’s fine, but if you’re always bringing up what’s great about him, your new boyfriend will think that you’re still in love with your ex. He’s bound to either get jealous or super insecure, and neither is good for your new relationship.
How much your friends liked him
It’s already hard enough for a boyfriend to get on the good side of his new girlfriend’s friends—your current boyfriend doesn’t need to hear about how much your friends liked your ex. Hearing that would be a real hit to his confidence when he’s trying to make a good impression with your friends.
How he broke your heart
Just say that you’re coming off a bad breakup but skip the details. Unless he asks, you don’t want to voluntarily give him specifics about what happened. The more he knows, the more it’ll mess with his head and the harder it’ll be for the two of you to move on together.
Every gift he ever bought you
Trust me, your new boyfriend will go out of his way to hate anything he knows an ex-boyfriend gave you. Yeah, it’s petty and childish, but that’s how we guys roll sometimes. Just tell a white lie and tell him that every gift you’ve ever received came from a now deceased grandparent. It’s believable and will make him feel better.
The ways he’s similar to your previous guy
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it at least three or four times: don’t compare your current boyfriend to your ex. Even if it’s a positive comparison, like “both of you are such great listeners,” or something lame like that, he doesn’t want to hear it. Guys want to feel special and unique. If you tell us that we’re just like your ex, we’ll think that you’re only dating us because we’re the next best thing to being with your ex. That’s not going to make us feel good.
That you still love/hate him
Never tell your boyfriend that a part of you still loves your ex. You also don’t want to overcompensate by saying something like, “I’m so over him.” You know who’s over things? People who don’t feel the need to say “I’m over it.” Don’t mention that you hate him either. We all know there’s a thin line between love and hate. If you mention how much you hate your ex, we’ll get a little suspicious.
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