If You’ve Ever Cheated On Someone, I Have Some Questions For You

It’s hard to believe that so many people would betray their partner by cheating on them with someone else, but it happens so frequently that I can’t help but wonder what goes through people’s heads when they have an affair. If you’re the cheating type, I really hope you can answer these questions for me:

  1. Why did you do it? In all honesty, I don’t understand. You supposedly loved this person, so how could you betray them like that? I’ve tried to consider every option. I’ve tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, but there’s no good explanation that I can see. You were just being selfish, but what I can’t get past is the fact that ending the relationship would have been a lot less cruel.
  2. Couldn’t you have just told your partner you were unhappy? Whether your affair was just physical or also had an emotional aspect, clearly you were unhappy with some part of your relationship. So why didn’t you just tell your partner that? Why didn’t you try to work things out before turning to a source outside of the relationship? On some level you wanted the relationship to end, and you took the coward’s way out.
  3. Was temptation really that irresistible? Seriously, you physically couldn’t help yourself? That sounds like a bunch of BS to me. You knew what you were doing and that it would break your partner’s heart. And yet, you only cared about what you wanted. You weren’t compelled by some force beyond your control — you were being selfish, and you should own up to it.
  4. Do you even feel bad? Did you even think or care about the effect your actions would have on your partner? If you truly loved them, you would never have put them through the hell you did. Set love aside, though — regardless of how you felt about your partner, they didn’t deserve this. If you don’t feel utterly ashamed, you should.
  5. Are you only sorry that you got caught? What would’ve happened if your partner never found out about your betrayal? Maybe you would’ve fessed up and begged for forgiveness anyway, but then again, you might’ve just kept it a secret for the rest of your life. Hell, maybe you would’ve moved on to someone else to cheat with. The difference between being sorry for what you did and being sorry you got caught is huge, and it says a lot about the type of person you really are.
  6. Would you do it all over again if you could? Don’t give the answer your partner wants to hear; tell the truth. In that moment, cheating was what you wanted, but would you change that moment if you could? I’m dying to know if you’d take the chance to go back in time and talk some sense into yourself or just repeat the same actions all over again. I sure hope it was all worth it to you.
  7. Was this your way out of the relationship? Maybe you didn’t think you’d get caught, or maybe you knew that this could lead to a breakup but just didn’t care. Taking the time and effort to look your partner in the eye and end things with them is tough, but they deserve that respect. I understand that breaking up with someone is hard, but what I’ll never be able to wrap my head around is how you thought cheating would be better.
  8. Have you ever been cheated on? I’m assuming not, because I could never believe that someone who’s gone through the pain of being cheated on could ever do that to someone else. Just think about how you’d feel if the one person who you thought you could trust betrayed you in such a terrible way. If you’ve never experienced that pain before, I hope for your sake you never have to.
  9. Do you believe in karma? They say that what goes around comes back around, and from what I’ve seen, it’s definitely true when it comes to cheaters. You might think you’ve come away from this without any consequences, but you can bet that down the road, someone’s going to break your heart the same way you broke your partner’s. The universe has a way of settling the score, so I hope you’re prepared for what you’ve done to come back and bite you in the ass.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.