11 Ways Guys Trick You Into Hooking Up

You think the guy you’ve been hanging out with is genuinely into you, but there’s a problem: you’re “hanging out,” and that doesn’t mean you’re dating or heading to a relationship. He might even be trying to trick you into hooking up with him, especially if he does any of these things.

  1. He shows you a bit of interest. When he first gets to know you, he’ll show you a bit of interest so that it will make you want him. So far, so good. After all, if you’re going to form a legitimate relationship with someone, they need to actually care about you.
  2. He backs off a bit. You might be loving chatting and flirting with him, only to find that he’s pulling back a bit. What’s going on here? This is his strategy to make you want him even more. The problem is that you feel that you’re both building interest for something real, but that never comes. You’re not going to become a couple.
  3. He goes over the top with his attention. When he gives you attention, he goes overboard. He’ll make it seem like you’re the only woman in the world for him, which can be quite intoxicating. Again, this is easy to disguise as genuine interest, but when something seems too good to be true, it usually is.
  4. He goes out of his way to compliment you. He’ll behave as though he’d love nothing more than to be your BF and he’ll show this by giving you tons of compliments. However, take a closer look at them and you’ll see they’re usually related to how sexy you are or how much he loves your physical appearance.
  5. He makes fake vacation plans. This is a weird tactic some guys will use when they want to trick you into hooking up. They’ll pretend that they see a long-term future with you by asking you to go away with them for the weekend. You might think they’re doing this to show you they’re serious, meanwhile, they just want a weekend away filled with hot sex.
  6. He’s persistent. You might think that a guy who’s desperate to see you and won’t take no for an answer is seriously into you, b. But he knows that he can get what he wants (that is, you in his bed) if he tries really hard. Way too hard.
  7. He’s dripping in charm. A guy who wants to try to make you his sex buddy will be super-charming. He wants you to swoon so that he can carry you back to his place. Once you’re there, you can bet he’ll wine and dine you. This guy’s got no problem with jumping through loads of hoops to romance you. But that’s all it is.
  8. He invites you to his place. He says he’ll cook you your favorite food for dinner. You’re glad that he wants to show you his home because it’s like he’s opening up his life to you, but wait. If you’ve only been on one or two dates, that could mean that he’s really hoping to skip dinner and have dessert in bed.
  9. He never takes you on real dates. Linked to the above point about how a guy who wants to hook up will want you to go to his place ASAP is how he’ll prefer staying in than going out on real dates. He might say he’s just so crazy about you he wants you all to himself, when the truth is he doesn’t want to be on dates that make you think you’re a couple.
  10. He’s a last-minute dater. You might think it’s thrilling when he’s spontaneous. He calls you up out of the blue on a Saturday night and flirts with you before inviting you to his place (no surprises, there). What you see as spontaneous and romantic is actually his way of fitting you in for a booty call when his other plans fall through.
  11. He dates backward. A backward dater is the guy who will claim that he likes to have sex early on to see if he and the woman he’s hooking up with have a real connection. Insert eye roll. If he doesn’t say it outright, you might be able to see that he dates in this way by what he says about other women he’s been with. It seems they all started out with sex. While you might think it makes sense to have sex before other types of intimacy, it’s good to bear in mind that it’s usually just about sex and probably won’t lead to anything more serious.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.