We’ve all dated that guy who constantly got on our last nerve. By the end, it was definitely a hate relationship. You really don’t care how he feels when you dump him. In fact, you’d love it to be as painful for him as possible. It’s your way to give him the middle finger as you leave him behind. If you want a bitchy way to dump a guy, look no further. Just remember, don’t use these on a guy you actually care about.
- Make a social media announcement. Social media breakups are becoming more common. They’re impersonal, embarrassing and you don’t have to interact with the person. It takes away the guy’s power to be the first to know and decide what he tells everyone else. It’s even worse if you add an evil one liner or embarrassing tidbit to the breakup announcement.
- Send him a picture of you and another guy. Shatter his ego by proving you’ve definitely moved on. The best part of this one is you don’t even have to be dating the other guy. Get some hot guy at the gym or Starbucks to take a selfie with you. Send the picture to your guy or even post it to social media with a caption saying “The grass really is greener,” “Decided to upgrade” or some other bitchy remark.
- Share his deepest, darkest secret. You might have trusted each other once, but when things go south, all bets are off. Piss him off and end it by sharing his darkest secret with everyone. As a warning, this can backfire. He can share you secrets too. Don’t do this unless you’re willing to expose secrets you told him.
- Let him know how flawed he is. You can do this privately or publicly. Either way, it’ll hurt. Make a list of everything you hate about him. List all those tiny little flaws. No one likes to be dissected like that. It’ll bruise his ego and definitely end the relationship.
- Send a quick text. A quick text is a great way to show he means nothing to you. After all, if that’s all the thought you put into the breakup, the relationship must not have mattered to you at all. He’ll probably be more pissed that he didn’t think of it first. Regardless, it’s mean and leaves him dumped and alone.
- Do it publicly, especially in front of his friends. No one likes getting dumped. They really don’t like having it done in public. Make sure everyone around you hears as you break it off. Doing it in front of his friends leaves him especially embarrassed. If you can add in a few hilarious flaws, you’ve really got the bitchy public breakup down.
- Ask someone else to do it for you. You’re done with the guy. Why bother breaking up with him at all? Get someone else to do it for you. This lets him know you have better things to do with your time. Believe it or not,  you can actually hire people to do this for you. Guess there are quite a few people who really hate their boy/girlfriend.
- Wait for a special occasion. If you really want to hit him where it hurts, wait until a special occasion. This is ideal for those guys who truly make you think about swearing off guys completely. Wait until his birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day or any other special occasion and dump him. Want to make it worse? Wait until he’s given you a gift or bought you dinner.
- Make him do it. Why should you have to be the bad guy, or woman in this case? Get him to dump you instead. He’s the bad guy and you get all the sympathy. He’ll know exactly what you did. He just won’t be able to take it anymore. This can take a little time, so only do this if you’re willing to be patient.
- Avoid him. Guys don’t like to be ignored. They might ignore you all the time, but don’t respond to their text quickly and you will hear about it. You have better things to do. Avoid his calls and texts. When he wants to make plans, tell him you already have other plans. This is a great way to get him to dump you. It’s also a great prelude to any other type of bitchy breakup just in case he doesn’t get the hint that it’s over.
- Tell him right after sex. Sex might be the only thing keeping you in the relationship. It’s also when a guy is the most vulnerable. Hit him where it hurts (metaphorically, not physically, no matter how much you might want to). Get up from cuddling, get dressed, dump him and walk out. It’s that simple.
No more putting it off. Hate your boyfriend? Pick any of these ways to dump a guy and you’ll feel strangely satisfied as you watch him crumble.
