When you were younger, you couldn’t wait to be living the grown up life — a life without curfews, when we could live in our own apartments and bring home big paychecks that would let us buy endless clothes and pizza deliveries with no one there to tell us any differently. Of course, the realities are completely different than all the expectations you had growing up, and now that you’re actually an adult, you realize that everything you envisioned wasn’t ever going to happen.
1. Food expectations: You’ll finally be able to eat what you want, when you want. Having to eat your veggies in order to get dessert is a thing of the past! You’ll be living that Ninja Turtle pizza life you always envisioned.
Reality: Kale is bae. Kale smoothies, kale salads, kale chips, kale everything. When you do eat something greasy, you need to pop an antacid first.
2. Partying expectations: You’ll party until the sun comes up and stay up late all the time! Finally, no more curfews!
Reality: You’ll involuntarily pass out at 10 pm at a party from eating too much cheese off the cheese platter.
3. Hangover expectations: You can’t wait for all the wonderful hangover brunches you’re going to have with all your friends, sipping mimosas and maybe hitting a spa afterwards, like they do on Gossip Girl.
Reality: Pizza delivery, Netflix and a onesie. No one can see you in this state. Did I mention that hangovers last for three days now? Don’t you just love your adult body?
4. Body expectations: You’ll be fit, happy and healthy and take aerobics classes and do yoga with friends all the time.
Reality: You struggle to make it through a 20 minute home workout video, so you just give up and have some Doritos instead.
5. Money expectations: You’ll be bringing in major cash from your dream career and will never have to worry about being able to afford necessities while still having some left over for extras.
Reality: You live paycheck to paycheck from your entry level job and you’re paying off student loans for the next decade.
6. Social expectations: You’ll see your friends all the time. Happy hours, weekend plans — your social calendar is going to be amazing.
Reality: You spend most nights binge-watching a show and scrolling through social media, which is now the dominant way you connect with your friends.
7. Dating expectations: You’ll meet the person of your dreams in a scene that’s out of a rom-com and you’ll live happily ever after.
Reality: You’re developing carpal tunnel from left swiping so much on Tinder.
8. Travel expectations: You’re going to travel the world and become so cultured in cuisine, history and learn new languages.
Reality: You take a few trips, which you need to budget for at least six months in advance or pay back for the following 12 months. The extent of your language skills are knowing how to say “Another drink, please!” and “Where is the nearest bathroom?” in Spanish.
9. Home expectations: You will have a very grown up home with adult furniture that matches and looks super modern.
Reality: You will have hand me downs, Craigslist finds and several Ikea pieces which require mandatory alcohol for assembly.
10. Relationship expectations: You and your guy will do everything together and be so in love that even Disney movies are jealous of your romance.
Reality: You’ll be in love, but you’ll bicker a lot about minor details and your romantic moments will sometimes be interrupted by flatulence.
11. Family expectations: You can’t wait until you’re free of your parents and their controlling ways to finally be your own person.
Reality: You are closer to your parents than ever and you realize they were right about everything.
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