11 Ways To Tell He’s Not Serious About You

The start of a new relationship is often full of butterflies and uncertainty and this guessing game can be part of the fun of dating. However, if you find your guy has you second-guessing his intentions more often than not, he might not be ready to commit to a long-term relationship. Here are 11 ways to tell he’s not serious about you.

  1. He’s always late to your dates. Everyone finds themselves running late for one reason or another from time to time, but if your guy is consistently late to your dates it’s clear he isn’t making you a priority. Not only is wasting your time incredibly disrespectful, this kind of behavior shows he’s not really serious about you or your relationship.
  2. He’ll take days to respond to your texts. Some people are more attached to their phones than others, but if you find yourself waiting a couple of days for your guy to respond to a simple question via text, his mind is obviously elsewhere. If he can’t communicate via text, odds are his in-person communication skills aren’t too hot either.  If he’s really invested in your relationship, he won’t leave you hanging.
  3. He only wants to see you when it’s convenient for him. When you finally do hear from him, it’s a last-minute text telling you to come over. Instead of working around your schedule to make time for each other, he’ll fit you in when he’s not hanging with the guys or doing his own thing. In this way, you’re an after-thought and not a serious priority.
  4. He’s kept his dating app profile. If you’ve been on a few dates and his Tinder profile is still active, this guy isn’t ready to settle down any time soon. He’s also not willing to see where this relationship goes and is instead still seeking other options. This is a huge red flag that, to him, you’re just a phase.
  5. He won’t introduce you as his girlfriend. When out with friends, he might just introduce you as your name or–yikes–not at all. If putting labels on your relationship makes him nervous, the guy’s got commitment issues and definitely isn’t looking for anything serious. Not presenting you as his girlfriend is also a sign he doesn’t think this thing is going anywhere worth mentioning.
  6. He won’t stand up for you. Maybe you’re hanging out with his friends and one of them makes a crude joke. Maybe you find yourself in a heated conversation where you could really use some backup. If your guy doesn’t have your back at all times, he’s not only insecure, but also unwilling to risk his reputation by standing up for you. A good partner will defend you at all costs.
  7. He doesn’t ask you personal questions. If he doesn’t express an interest in your job, your family, or your hobbies, he’s obviously not trying to get to know you better. By steering clear of deep conversations, he’s avoiding any opportunity for emotional investment. He likely considers your relationship as a brief fling.
  8. He makes you feel like a burden. If you feel guilty for demanding his time and attention, this guy is not the one for you. He should be thrilled to spend time with you and not make you feel like a burden when you try to make plans or ask him for a simple favor.
  9. He’s not interested in meeting your friends. When you suggest a cocktail hour with your girlfriends after work or invite him to a friend’s party, he comes up with excuses as to why he can’t make it. If this becomes a pattern, it’s clear he’s avoiding meeting the people who mean the most to you and will take your side if (and when) the relationship comes to a screeching halt.
  10. He doesn’t talk about a future together. Whether that’s planning ahead to the weekend or asking about your career goals, he doesn’t (or rarely) look ahead or include you in his future plans. This is an obvious sign he doesn’t think this relationship will go the distance and he’s definitely not taking you into account in the future.
  11. He flirts constantly with other girls. It’s normal to feel a bit jealous in a couple, but if you repeatedly catch your guy flirting with other girls, he’s got a wandering eye that’s seeking out his next short-term fling. If he’s got anything but eyes for you, he’s not ready to commit and you’re better off looking for someone who is.
Julia is a recent graduate of the University of Virginia where she majored in English and French language and literature. She's engaged in an on-again-off-again French love affair (with the country itself) and has been crushing on French pop star Jean-Baptiste Maunier for about 8 years. When she's not writing you can find her rereading The Wizard of Oz or trying to run away with the circus.