11 Ways Women With Anxiety Love Differently

The constant fear, worry, or panic that many women (and people in general) with anxiety deal with in their day-to-day lives can crush them like the weight of the world if it gets heavy enough. When it comes to relationships and dating, having anxiety can make it both daunting and extraordinary all at the same time. This mental health issue isn’t easy to handle and it does change the way people love, but not always for the worse.

  1. We overthink everything. When you have anxiety, racing thoughts are just part of the process. We think about every scenario, every option, every single little detail ad nauseam until we’ve reached a final verdict on any given situation. When it comes to love, we participate in the same thinking patterns, sometimes even more so because we understand how high the stakes are when it comes to love. Overthinking love allows us to come to a solid decision of whether or not a relationship is worth pursuing, which leads me to my next point.
  2. We don’t jump in all the way at first. Because we need the time to consider all the facts before falling head over heels into a situation that could destroy us, we tend to take things slow — and by slow, I mean glacial. We never rush into things with another person because we need to be prepared for everything. When we say we love you, we truly mean it.
  3. We plan for everything. Whether it’s a date that’s next weekend or a getaway three months in the future, we’re going to be prepared. We don’t want to get stuck in a situation that’s going to make our anxiety worse, after all. So, those who love a person with anxiety should be prepared for a higher level of preparedness.
  4. We’re loyal to a fault. Since we know and have overthought about the repercussions of betrayal, we’re incredibly loyal. We’re also loyal because we’ve thought way too long and hard about whether we wanted the relationship in the first place. We’re not going to go and do something that would ruin it after all that worry and information processing.
  5. We avoid confrontation as much as possible. People with anxiety hate confrontation. This can be a hindrance in a relationship because sometimes a fight needs to happen. We will try to keep the peace as much as possible because the worry that a fight will escalate into something worse is always in the back of our minds.
  6. Sometimes we can be too skeptical. It’s not like we don’t want to trust our partner, but the idea that the other shoe is going to drop will always be in the back of our minds. We’re in a semi-constant state of fight or flight in every area of our lives and that means that we’re going to be unsure of you from time to time.
  7. We worry about everything constantly. We worry about our family, our friends, and our partner. All. The. Time. It never stops. It never goes away. It’s not like we want to freak out if you don’t text us when you get home, we just have so many scenarios loaded in our heads ready to spin out on that it’s hard to avoid.
  8. Safety is our number one priority. We rarely feel safe, like ever. Anxiety has a way of doing that and although it’s something we’re actively working on, it can affect our lives. The good thing about this aversion to feeling safe is that if our partner manages to bring us that sort of comfort, we will hold on for dear life.
  9. We love harder than most people. Because we think harder, worry harder, and feel everything harder than most people, it’s only natural that we love harder too. We will love our partners more than anyone ever has because that’s just how we roll.
  10. We’re always doing our best. Being the partner of someone with anxiety isn’t always easy and we get that. We aren’t oblivious to it, but we’re always doing our best not to let you down and to manage and cope with it. We’re always trying to make things in the relationship work for the better.
  11. We’ll go above and beyond to make you feel loved and secure. Having anxiety can make us feel as though we’re unlovable, annoying, or unwanted. Our mind plays these little tricks on us and we know how much it can hurt to feel like that. Because of this fact, we will always give our all to make sure that our partners know they’re our one and only. We’ll never let our partners feel like they’re less than.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at AngelicaBottaro.ca. She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.