11 Ways You’re Becoming Your Own Worst Enemy

While you may refuse to put up with poor treatment or bullying from other people, you might not even realize all the ways in which you’re doing those very same things to yourself. If you’re guilty of any of these things, you’re on your way to becoming your own worst enemy:

  1. You body-shame yourself. No matter how many compliments you get, you won’t feel beautiful until you see it for yourself. When you look in the mirror, you probably notice all of your flaws. You look for the tiniest sign of imperfection, despite that fact that the rest of the world is oblivious.
  2. You listen to the little voices in your head. Your inner critic is harsher than any outside source. That’s why you shouldn’t listen to the nagging judge in your brain that tells you you’re not smart, beautiful, funny, or just not good enough.
  3. You hold yourself back. If you let fear of the unfamiliar hold you back, you’ll never find true happiness. Life is a series of risks. If you never risk anything, then you’re probably never doing anything worthwhile. Every choice has a consequence, sometimes good and sometimes bad, but you’ll never be rewarded for doing nothing.
  4. You set your expectations too high. If you expect too much out of yourself, others, or life in general, you’re bound to be disappointed. It’s good to have a positive outlook, but you should also have realistic expectations. Expecting the worst while hoping for the best will keep you positive yet grounded.
  5. You postpone your happiness. Sometimes you think that if you only got a promotion, landed a great guy, or even won the lottery, you’d be happy. You can’t hold your happiness hostage on ifs and whens, because those things won’t actually make you happy. You have to find a way to be happy right now. You can still strive for more, but don’t make it a condition of your happiness.
  6. You obsess over your failures. Life is full of little failures, not just for you, but for everyone. What’s the point in tallying up your mistakes? You try, you fail, you learn from it, but what you should never do is let your past hold you back from your future.
  7. You don’t appreciate what you have. You’re constantly looking for what’s missing, but what about what you already have? If you’re obsessing over the fact that you’re single, are you appreciating your awesome lady friends? What about your great job? Supportive family? Or just the fact that you can pay your bills?
  8. You procrastinate. You put everything off until the very last minute, and in the end you’re left feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Stop putting things off for tomorrow, and do everything you can today. You’ll never accomplish more than the bare minimum if you don’t.
  9. You overanalyze. Love, friendship, work — if you’re obsessing over the finite details of your life, it’s going to make you pretty damn unhappy. Stop worrying about what ifs and live in reality. Overthinking will never change your real life situation, so set your mind at ease and skip the anxiety trigger.
  10. You make assumptions. If you always jump to the worst conclusion or add up circumstances as facts, you’re not doing yourself or anyone else any favors. Living by assumptions will only make you bitter and leave you grasping for straws that no one else sees.
  11. You embrace negativity. Stop thinking of everything as impossible. If you’re constantly looking for a reason you can’t do something, trust me, you’ll find one. Don’t make excuses for yourself and instead believe that you can do anything you set your mind to. In the end, you might just surprise yourself.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.