12 Bad Habits You Have To Break If You Want To Find Love

12 Bad Habits You Have To Break If You Want To Find Love

Finding love can be tough no matter how much of a catch you are — and you definitely are an amazing one — but you could be making things harder on yourself. At the end of the day, if you want to find love, you have to break up with your bad dating habits — especially if you’re guilty of any of these:

  1. Contacting your ex. You broke up and now it’s time to get him out of your life for good. He can’t be the person to whom you compare every new guy in your life. He wasn’t right for you and it’s time you accept that. If you ever want to move on and truly get over the guy, he can’t be in your life. It’s time to say goodbye so you can say hello to someone who will be way better for you.
  2. Always having a backup plan. You can’t keep a guy benched just in case you never find first-string material. No matter what happens, there’s no excuse for settling. It’s not fair to you and it’s certainly not fair to the guy waiting on the back burner. He deserves true love and so do you, so cut him loose for both of your sakes.
  3. Being jealous of every couple. Just because other people have found love doesn’t mean you never will — there’s plenty of it to go around. Instead of being angry with them or obsessively envying their happiness, why not view couples as an inspiration? If they found love, you can too… that is, as long as you don’t let jealousy make you bitter along the way.
  4. Needing a guy instead of just wanting one. You need to get it through your head that you don’t actually need a boyfriend. You want one, and there’s a huge difference between the two. Needing a man makes you desperate — it means you depend on him for your own happiness and survival. You shouldn’t be with someone because you have to be; you should be with him because you want to be. You always have a choice, and if he’s the right guy, you’ll choose him every single day.
  5. Listening to your inner critic. That self-doubt will eat you alive. Confidence is one of the most important assets when it comes to dating. Every girl has her insecurities, but you can’t let those little whispers of self-doubt get the best of you. You need to believe you deserve a great guy who treats you right and loves you unconditionally. Until you do you’ll just keep falling for guys who treat you like crap.
  6. Choosing guys over your friends. No matter what happens in your love life, your girls will always be there. They’ve stuck with you through love and heartbreak, so don’t take them for granted. You’re not in high school anymore — you can’t spend all your free time with your guy and plan on seeing your friends in class the next day. You have to work at your friendships or you might just lose them.
  7. Holding onto the past. If you ever want to find love, you’re going to have to let go of the heartbreak of your past. Some guy hurt you and that sucks, but at some point, you have to get over it. In order to move on, you have to let go. Stop feeling bitter about the man who hurt you and just forgive him. He may not deserve it, but it’s not about him — do it for yourself.
  8. Giving out undeserved second chances. Despite the popular platitude, not everyone deserves a second chance. If he hurt you, if he treated you like crap, if he wasted his first chance, then maybe he doesn’t deserve a second round. Take the bad boy out of the ball game. He had his strikes. He’s out.
  9. Making finding love your top priority. Sometimes to find love, you have to stop looking so damn hard. You don’t have to stop going out, just stop making finding a man the object of every night out. You can make yourself available without making yourself look desperate. It’s time to stop chasing guys and let them chase you.
  10. Trying to change bad guys into good guys. You should never set out to change a man because you’re destined to fail. Men have to want to change for themselves. Not for some girl, even if that girl is a great girl like you. It’s something he has to do on his own. If he’s not ready for a mature relationship, you can’t force him. Instead, try finding a man who’s not a “work in progress.”
  11. Blaming yourself for your failed relationships. You might have made some mistakes, but at some point, you’re going to have to forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, but it’s time to move on. Your failed relationships aren’t entirely your fault, so stop thinking something’s wrong with you. The relationships didn’t work out because you weren’t with the right guy. End of story.
  12. Depending on men to make you happy. You should have learned this one a long time ago, but just in case, here it is — no man will ever make you happy. Your happiness depends solely on you. You have to be happy on your own first before you can be happy with someone else, so if you’re waiting for Prince Charming to swoop in solve all your problems and leave a permanent smile on your face, you’ll be waiting a long time — forever.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has been blogging for over four years and writing her whole life. Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. She enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.