It’s 2015, so being a woman is totally fabulous and we never have to experience any discrimination or bad behavior at all, ever, right? Wrong. (If you answered yes, what alternative world are you living in and how can I move there?) Here’s why being a woman in 2015 isn’t the walk in the part that we wish it would be:
- Guys who are trying to get into our pants don’t even buy us drinks anymore. No, you don’t owe a guy anything after he buys you a drink, but honestly it’s sometimes a nice gesture. Besides, if you’re going to make overtly sexual comments at me all night, can I at least get a few beers out of this?
- Women’s liberation brought us freedom… to work. Oh, good, I’m so glad that you’re going to “allow” me to work 40 to 50 hours a week and do your laundry. Freedom!
- Our 77 cents doesn’t go as far as it used to. We hate to sound like our grandparents talking about the good old days, but when did everything get so expensive? Five dollars for coffee? Seriously?
- We’re supposed to be skinny, but somehow have boobs and a butt with no stomach. And we’re also supposed to be “the cool girl” that eats cheeseburgers all the time. Can someone explain to me how this works? Because I sure as hell haven’t figured it out yet.
- There are arbitrary rules about what type of look is “professional.” Why exactly is my curly hair unprofessional again? And remind me again what makes standing on three-inch heels make me appear to be more capable?
- We work our asses of to get a degree and a great job and all our parents want to know is when we’re going to get married and have kids. Hi, Mom! I got promoted! I’m the youngest person to ever get to this level in the history of the company! What’s that, you ask? Are Bobby and I engaged yet? Um, no — sorry, Mom. Uh-huh. I’ll tell him you asked. Love you, too.
- Seriously, how is there still a 40-hour workweek? With all of the increases in technology, were are so much more productive than our counterparts of yesteryear. I mean, how did people even do their jobs before Google? So what on Earth are we doing still working these ridiculous hours? And these days, even 40 is rare.
- We’re supposed to feign a love for kale and smoothies that taste like dirt. Yum, dirt. Maybe I’m missing something? Bring me that cheeseburger.
- The modern-day love letter equivalent is just a text message without typos. Oh wow, Bobby used capital letters! And proper punctuation! He must really care.
- Penis pictures. What the hell is up with penis pics? This has to be working, or else guys wouldn’t do it all the time, right? So somebody please tell me: who is this actually working on?
- We still can’t say that we’re feminists out loud without getting made fun of. The word feminist is still misunderstood. It’s embarrassing that we still have to be careful of who we tell that we’re feminists because of the negative connotations some people associate with the word.
- There are no rules anymore, but everyone is still trying to play games. Once upon a time, there was a proper code of decorum. Now, we’re just making it up as we go along and trying to get by. Sometimes a rule book would be nice.
Let’s just say that we have a long way to go before being a woman is the paradise we want it to be. We’re looking at you, 2016! Don’t disappoint us.