If you’ve dated lots of crazy or toxic guys, you’ll know how weird it can be to meet a stable, normal guy for a change. The thing is, we sometimes take normal-guy characteristics for granted and deem them boring or annoying, writing these guys off when they’re exactly the types of guys we should be gravitating towards. Here are some things we should appreciate a bit more.
He doesn’t have fits of rage.
There are loads of angry people out there. From guys who have road-rage episodes in the car to those who have toddler tantrums, it’s easy to think that everyone’s going to have some sort of bad mood disorder. So when a guy can be calm and doesn’t fly off the handle at the slightest inconvenience, it’s really refreshing.
Whether or not you think chivalry is dead isn’t the point. The point is that some guys out there still do it and it’s totally normal – and nice! Real chivalry isn’t about showering you with love and affection, but about being kind. When the guy’s chivalrous with everyone, not just someone he’s hoping he can get something from, he’s getting to the meat of what chivalry is really supposed to be.
He’s mentally sound.
He doesn’t act like different people from one minute to the next or tell you about his delusions that make you think he’s legit crazy. No, the guy’s stable and doesn’t make you worry that one day he’s just gonna snap and have some sort of psychotic break. It’s a gift not to walk around on eggshells in your relationship.
He texts when he said he would.
With all the guys out there who lie about texting you, it’s so cool to meet a guy who actually keeps his word on the little things. Don’t take it for granted when he texts after a date and calls when he said he’d call.
He’s a good listener.
You might think you’re destined to talk your boyfriend’s ear off because no guy’s going to have as great listening skills as he does, so it’s like you’ve won the lottery when you meet a guy who actually listens to you. He doesn’t just listen so that he can jump into the conversation ASAP either. He genuinely wants to know what’s going on in your mind and what you’re about.
He tells you how he feels.
He doesn’t drag his feet for weeks so that you’re left wondering if he’ll ever define the relationship. Instead, he tells you early on in the relationship that he really likes you and wants to date you. This is because he’s a guy who’s genuine and doesn’t play games with you. Straight up, no bullsh*t.
He has strength of character.
A guy who doesn’t know himself is going to be like driftwood. He’ll change his mind all the time, contradict himself, and just go with the flow of whoever’s in his life. Being with him can lead you astray, or just piss you off. But the guy who’s got strength of character is different. He knows what he’s about, he keeps his word, and he goes for what he wants in life. He’s not wishy-washy or flaky.
He’s legitimately nice.
Okay, so sometimes the nice guy gets a bad name. When a guy’s just down-to-earth, genuine, and not out to hurt anybody, it might seem like nothing to write home about, but it can be everything – especially after a string of toxic guys. The normal guy can really make you see what you’ve been missing and maybe even taking for granted.
He deals with his drama.
If you’ve dated some guys who were really just man-children, you’ll know how amazing it is to meet someone who’s got his act sorted and who doesn’t call you every time he’s got some new drama burning up his doorstep. He can deal with his problems and doesn’t make you feel like he’s just using you as a fixer.
He compliments you the old-fashioned way.
He doesn’t do the negging thing of complimenting and insulting you simultaneously. (Example: “You’re pretty. For a woman who’s so short.”) Those sorts of dating strategies are lame games guys seriously need to stop using. Instead of resorting to them, the normal guy is genuine about how he compliments you. He’s flattering you, sure, but it’s not done in a manipulative way.
He knows how to talk.
The normal guy not only holds a conversation but can talk about his thoughts and feelings in a grown-up and clear way, so you’re not left going, “Why is he so confusing?!” If you can communicate with him, it’s a big plus for your relationship because it removes so much uncertainty and frustration. Plus, although the mysterious guy can be sexy (until about date four), the normal guy who says what he means and can express himself well will make for a much happier, healthier LTR. In addition, is there anything sexier than a guy who’s clear about his intentions so you don’t have to wonder if he’s into you or not? Yup, you know it.
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