The 12 Phases Of Being Single AF Every Girl Goes Through

When you’re single AF, accepting your relationship status can be a lengthy and painful process. It’s totally normal to be down on love and feel disheartened by the lack of romantic prospects in your life, but eventually you come around and see things in a whole new way. Here are the phases you go through before you get there:

  1. “Single and ready to mingle.” You’re single right now, but that status is about to change. You’re ready to go out and meet “The One,” or at least date around. You feel optimistic because the more guys you meet, the more chances you have to find Mr. Right. You’re not wallowing in self-pity; instead, you’re hitting the town because dating is just a game and you’re more than ready to play.
  2. “All I need is a wing-woman.” During this stage, you realize that playing the dating game on your own is too damn hard, so you enlist another single friend to help you win once and for all. She’ll reel guys in by highlighting your best qualities and with her by your side there’s no chance you’ll lose at love. Time to hit the clubs and let your wing-woman work her magic.
  3. “Desperately seeking anyone.” Okay, you’re officially over looking for Mr. Perfect. You’ve finally realized that no guy is perfect, and frankly, you’re just so sick of being alone. You just want someone, anyone, to pass the time with. You’re sick of eating take-out for one every night and you want to share a real home-cooked meal with a guy you care about and who cares about you. You’ve gone from single and content to utterly desperate. WTF?
  4. “Burned out and on a break.” Taking a break from dating can be a necessary move to keep your sanity. You’ve gone through enough bad dates at this point to realize that having a love life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. You want to find love, but you’re so sick of looking for it. You want to reach your destination but you need a break from the journey, so you’re going to sit a few rounds out. It’s not forever, but it’s what’s necessary for now.
  5. “Is there something wrong with me?” At one point or another, every single AF girl will go through this phase of self-doubt. You’re single and you can’t help but wonder if it’s entirely your fault. One by one your friends find love, but not you. You fear you’ll be on your own forever, and rather than blaming guys for their BS behavior, you blame yourself. It’s a tragic case of low self-esteem, but just remember that  you’re not alone in feeling it.
  6. “I wouldn’t even have time for a boyfriend.” In this phase, you don’t want a boyfriend (or so you claim) because if you found a great guy, you wouldn’t have time for him in your busy life. You’re not sitting around praying for Prince Charming to knock on your door. You’re single, but you still have an active life and no guy is going to mess this up.
  7. “I can’t even remember the last time I had a date.” When you can’t even remember the last time you had a date, you know you’ve been single for far too long. Not just single, though — no dates means you haven’t even had any prospects in a long time. Instead of going out, you’ve been sitting at home watching Netflix instead. Uh oh.
  8. “I just want to get laid.” You don’t want a date — you’re done with the BS. What you really want is to work out your sexual frustrations on a random guy. You want a hookup buddy, a friend with benefits, something with no strings attached. Right now, it’s not about finding a soulmate — it’s about getting off.
  9. “All my friends have boyfriends.” You’re the last single lady in your friend group and you feel more alone than ever. Your friends have all found love and you’re happy for them, but you just want to find that happiness too. You have no one left to understand the struggle you’re going through and that makes you feel more alone than ever. You’re so ready for love, so where is it?
  10. “Maybe I should just get a pet instead.” That’s it. You’re giving into fate and fulfilling your destiny to become a cat lady. You may not have a boyfriend, but at least you’ll have some sense of companionship in your life. Your married friends are always busy and whenever you see your family, all they ask about is your relationship status (or lack thereof). You’re sick of being alone but you’re so far from finding love, so it’s the pet life for you instead.
  11. “Marriage probably isn’t right for me, after all.” It’s not right for everyone. In fact, even people who think it’s right for them are wrong 50% of the time. You’d rather never find the right guy than settle for the wrong one. You’ll be a bachelorette for life, and as long as you have the right attitude about it then it won’t be the worst thing in the world.
  12. Living happily ever after alone.” You’ve accepted the fact that maybe you’ll never find Mr. Right, but that’s okay because you love yourself and your life. You don’t need a guy to make you happy. You’ve found happiness all on your own and just because you’re single AF doesn’t mean your life is worthless. You have friends, family, career, and a life worth living. Being single AF isn’t a death sentence, it’s a relationship status of its own — and you’re not going to let it hold you back ever again.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.