12 Realities Of Being A Total Homebody

12 Realities Of Being A Total Homebody ©iStock/Cokacoka

Are you one of those people who, given a choice, would always choose staying in on a Saturday night over going out? It’s not just because it’s raining out or you’re on a budget – it’s because you have no interest in being in a sweaty bar full of strangers, or waiting 30 minutes for a table at a restaurant when you could have just ordered in. You have plenty of opportunities to go out, but if someone doesn’t tell you your presence is mandatory, you’re not going to bother. And you’re just fine with that. Here are some things every homebody will relate to.

  1. You own more sweatpants than jeans. If you could, you’d wear sweatpants when you went out, too, but apparently that’s socially unacceptable.
  2. When you do make an appearance, you show up late and leave early. At least you showed up, right?
  3. Wearing a bra is optional. Seriously, what kind of masochist wears a bra when they’re at home alone? This is the best part of not going out, hands down.
  4. You think of excuses not to go out in advance. It’s always good to have a few on reserve so it sounds believable, and you don’t end up saying, “Uh, sorry I can’t, I have to clean out the fridge tonight.”
  5. Once you’ve changed into your PJs, nothing will get you out of the house. Even then, you would probably just scoff at the idea that a meteor would just happen to be coming right for your couch.
  6. Sometimes you turn your phone off just so you don’t have to get invited to anything. If you don’t see the invite until after the fact, it’s not your fault you didn’t go.
  7. Your friends know to reserve their “you have to be there”s for special occasions. You will make an effort for birthdays, because you know they’ll all pile into your apartment to watch movies on Netflix and eat Chinese food when your birthday roles around. It’s only fair.
  8. Your mom routinely asks you if you’ve gone outside yet this weekend. She knows you can be a bit of a hermit sometimes, and she worries. Sometimes you’ll make a trip to the grocery store just so you don’t have to lie to her.
  9. You either love to cook, or you love to order in. Either way, going out to eat isn’t something you do. Unless it’s your favorite place around the corner, then you might make an exception.
  10. Coming home is still your favorite part of the night (even if you’ve had a good time). There are those rare times when you make yourself go out, and you manage to have fun. But that doesn’t mean you’re suddenly going to become a bar star and forget your homebody roots.
  11. Marathoning the new season of True Detective with your boyfriend is the most romantic weekend you could imagine. No guy who expects you to go out all the time will ever last as your significant other. The only thing better than staying in by yourself, is having someone who wants nothing more than to plant their ass on the couch right next to you.
  12. Your friends know if they want to hang out, suggesting a night in with a bottle of wine is the best way to go. Why go out and spend $12 on a glass, when you could get an entire bottle for that price?
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.