12 Reasons You Should Have Already Found Love

After a breakup, the “What If”s constantly run through every girl’s mind. What if he was the one? What if I never find anyone who makes me feel like that again? What if I never find love again? What if I did something different? What if hadn’t done X, Y, or Z? It’s normal to feel this way, but you have to try your hardest to STOP! We have a connection with most people for a finite period of time and then we move on until we find that one person where the connection is forever. When you’re reeling from a recent breakup or have been single for longer than you’d hoped, there’s one important thing you need to remember: you’re a catch, and here’s why.

  1. You want to be a partner. You’ve been through the song and dance before and know that in any relationship, the most important thing is that it’s reciprocal. You don’t want to be a giver or a taker in your relationships, you want to go into things 50/50, which is the only way to be.
  2. You’ve got your act together. You don’t need to be fixed or saved. You aren’t a project that a guy is going to have to work on or hand-hold every step of the way. Plus, you know you have other things in your life going on, and if it doesn’t work out with this particular guy, it won’t be the end of the world.
  3. You want it all & you’re willing to work for it. You know that if you want something in life, not only do you have to work hard to get it, but you have to work hard to keep it, too. Once you get the guy, you’re not going to let yourself go physically or ditch your life you had before this guy or do a complete 180 in your personality. You’re going to continue to crush it at your job, maintain your relationships with girlfriends and make sure to keep things fresh with him.
  4. You’ve got confidence in spades. Even during the most insecure of moments, deep down you know that you’re kind of the crap. Everyone has doubts or periods of time when they’re unsure about pretty much everything in their lives, but you know that you’ll eventually come out of it and return to your badass self. Being confident doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to have worries, though, and your vulnerability mixed with your confidence is a cocktail he won’t be able to resist.
  5. You want a guy for the right reasons. You don’t need a guy to fill a void in your life. You don’t need a guy to pay your bills. You don’t need a guy to change your tire, hang your pictures on the wall or paint your apartment. You can do all of those things on your own. But you want a man. You want to be with a guy so you can share your lives together, not so he can do your chores or be your sugar daddy. Guys can tell when a woman is desperate or looking for some kind of help and sadly, there are too many of those kinds of women out there. Not you!
  6. You’re seeking adventure & are up for anything. Does anyone want to be around Debbie Downer? Nobody likes a nag. You know that being in a relationship means that every day you’re choosing to be with someone and that someone is choosing to be with you. Of course, there are ups and downs in life, but at the end of the day, you know that the most important thing is to laugh and have fun with your partner. Otherwise, what’s the point? Love is a roller coaster, but you know how to balance out those high highs and low lows with humor and a good time.
  7.  You’re smart and opinionated about the world around you. You’re his intellectual equal. You’ll challenge him (in the good way) and when problems arise in your relationship or the two of you may disagree, he’ll be able to respect your opinion and where you’re coming from because he knows you know what you’re talking about. He also won’t have to worry that you’ll embarrass him at his office cocktail party by saying something stupid or quoting Us Weekly.
  8. You can stand on your own two feet. We all want a partner who wants to be around us. No one, especially guys, want a partner who needs to be around them for their mental health. When you do your own thing, he becomes more intrigued and attracted to you, and you don’t lose yourself and forget all the things that make you who you are just because there’s a man on the scene.
  9. You’re not afraid of failing. You go after everything you want in life and don’t follow anyone else’s rules. It may not always work out, but that never stops you. You’d rather ask for forgiveness than permission and won’t let fear or the unknown stand in your way. While you may ask for your guy’s advice, you don’t need it and you won’t make your decisions solely based on what he thinks. Letting your intuition instead of others guide you is a turn-on, and when a guy sees how capable you are on your own, it makes him want to be a part of your life even more.
  10. You’re genuinely compassionate towards other people. Any display of affection or caring registers in a man’s mind. While he may have a not-so-favorable opinion on your friend who perpetually has a four alarm fire 24/7, he admires you for always being there to help put those fires out. Your compassion towards others makes him think about you as a long term partner and even what you might be like one day as a mom.
  11. You aren’t selfish. There’s no bigger turn-off to anyone than someone who only cares about themselves. Whether you share your time, love in the bedroom or especially your french fries, men appreciate the gesture and whether they realize it or not make mental notes of it.
  12. You’re youYep, it’s that simple. Until technology in the real world catches up to all of those sci-fi movies, you’re the only you there is. You are unique. You have something special to offer and it’s different than everyone else’s special something. Never try to imitate someone else or be someone you think that a guy wants you to be – he won’t want the faux version. Embrace your individuality and others will follow suit. Sometimes we forget how amazing we really are, so whether it takes daily affirmations or spending time with people who help bring out the best in you, do it! When you highlight your rare, inimitable attributes, men will flock to you to get it.
Abby Stern grew up in New Orleans and is now an actress, screenwriter, and blogger (who isn't?) trying to keep it real in Los Angeles. She also writes for FabFitFun and contributes to various blogs detailing her unique perspective on dating and twenty-something life in Hollywood. Gwyneth Paltrow is her spirit animal and in her free time, Abby enjoys Bellinis and plotting to steal unattended Birkin bags. Follow her on Twitter: @abbystern