12 Reasons You’ll Never Find Me Falling In Love With A Smoker

It used to be something I found sexy: a guy holding a cigarette up to his sultry, almost-pouty lips, and the squinty look in his eyes when he stared at me through plumes of smoke. But after dating and hanging around smokers, I’m over it. It really is a filthy habit and I won’t date a smoker ever again. Here’s why.

  1. I don’t want to kiss a carcinogenic ashtray. There are hundreds of chemicals in cigarettes, with 70 of them being carcinogenic. Kissing a guy who smells of smoke is a constant reminder of all the crap he’s putting in his body. It literally leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Gross.
  2. I’ve lost people to smoking-related cancer. I’ve lost relatives and family friends to cancer from first-hand or second-hand smoke, and it sucked big time. Their lives were taken too early, and I refuse to go through the grief of losing someone I love because of stupid cigarettes again.
  3. I don’t want to harm myself. I’ve never smoked a cigarette in my life. It’s never been something that interested me. So why should I breathe in all the nasty toxins because I’m hanging around someone who smokes? It’s not fair.
  4. I don’t want my home to smell like a cheap club. That smell of smoke stays around for ages. You can never get it out. It seeps into carpets, blankets, sofas, and even pet fur. I don’t want to come home at the end of the day and feel like I’m in one of those dodgy clubs in the bad part of town. And no, lighting a scented candle doesn’t help to get rid of that horrid smell!
  5. I don’t find yellow teeth attractive. Smokers’ teeth can be really gross and yellow. It’s pointless for them to have them professionally whitened because they then continue smoking, making their teeth look horrible all over again. A gorgeous smile is one of the things I look for in a guy, so I’m immediately turned off by a yellow one.
  6. I’ve seen the other things smoking can do. It’s not just about the Big C that smoking can cause — I’ve witnessed other health problems that we tend to forget are associated with smoking. Things like emphysema, for instance, which is a horrible disease. So now basically when I see a smoker, all I can wonder is what disease he’s going to get from all that crap he smokes.
  7. I don’t want to ruin my clothes. Just hanging around with a smoker is enough to make all my lovely clothes smell like I’ve stolen them from some disgusting closet. It sucks and increases the amount of time I need to spend washing all my pretty stuff. FML.
  8. I hate pausing conversations because he needs a cig. We’re having a serious chat, and then the guy says, “Wait, I need a cigarette break.” What?! This might sound like an exaggeration, but it’s true. Every smoker I’ve been around will tend to bolt out the room when they needs a smoke, even if it feels inappropriate for them to do so. So annoying.
  9. The smell of smoke makes me nauseous. Perhaps it’s because my dad used to smoke in the car when I was a kid and I’d end up going to school feeling like my stomach was turning from the horrible stench, or maybe it’s just because I have a sensitive sense of smell. Either way, that smell of cigarette smoke is horrible. I don’t want to feel sick on all my dates with a guy.
  10. I don’t want to deal with his quitting blues. Have you ever been around a person who tried to quit smoking? It’s hell — and not just for them. They’re moody, irritable, annoying, and acting like cigarettes pump oxygen into their lungs. I know tobacco can be just as addictive as hard drugs, but that actually makes me want to avoid smokers even more. I’ve dated a guy who was on coke, and seeing him come off that was nasty. I won’t go through that again, even with a cigarette smoker.
  11. Smokers can be selfish. I’m not saying all smokers are selfish, but the ones I’ve known have been. They’re always prioritizing their smoking habit and acting like there’s no such thing as the dangers of second-hand smoke. They don’t like it when you tell them where they can or can’t smoke, and get really defensive about their beloved cigarettes if you try to limit them. Drama!
  12. I won’t give up my health for anyone. My health is non-negotiable. I can’t control a smoker and I won’t try to get them to quit, but I won’t date someone who tries to control my life by bringing the dangers of smoking into my space. My health is not something I’m willing to compromise in a relationship, so I’d rather make eyes at a cute guy from where I’m sitting in the non-smoking section and leave it at that. I won’t go over to chat and flirt because we’re just not going to work.
Jessica Blake is a writer who loves good books and good men, and realizes how difficult it is to find both.