12 Signs Dating The Man Of Your Dreams Could Become Your Biggest Nightmare

Love can change your life, but this isn’t always a good thing. Here are 12 ways in which meeting Mr. Right can actually be very wrong.

  1. Love changes you. Falling in love can be a good thing and change you in positive ways, such as by making you learn to love others or making you more empathetic, but there’s a catch. If you’re changing who you are to keep the guy or you’re changing your priorities so that he’s the most important thing in your life, he’s actually not right for you at all.
  2. You’re not ready. It sounds like a copout, sure, but maybe you’re just not ready for the guy—and it has nothing to do with him. As wonderful as he is, you actually don’t feel like you want a relationship right now. It happens. If you ignore your feeling and choose to let him in in spite of it, you can cause a dream relationship to become a disaster, and you’re the one who’ll suffer the consequences.
  3. It’s a bad time. Again, it sounds like a copout people use when they’re trying to repel someone who doesn’t meet their standards, but sometimes life has other plans. If you’ve just come out of a relationship or have gone through another traumatic experience, you really don’t want to have to deal with a relationship or use it as a distraction to your healing time. It’ll set you back, big time.
  4. You’re getting swept away. Love is like a drug sometimes. It can make you feel like you’re escaping the pain of life, but that’s not always a good thing. If it’s taking you away from the painful things of life, it might also take you away from the good things like your dreams and goals that end up on the back burner.
  5. You don’t do relationships. Everyone keeps telling you that when you find your perfect guy, you’ll want to bid single life farewell forever. That’s BS. Maybe relationships are just not right for you. Maybe you don’t see a point in dating if you never want to get married. That’s OK! Better to be who you are instead of settling for a relationship just because the guy’s a catch. You don’t have to take every single opportunity that comes your way.
  6. Single life is working for you. Not against you. You’re more creative, ambitious, and successful when a man’s not sleeping in your bed. It makes sense because you don’t have the distraction of a relationship. In such a case, sticking to flying solo serves you much more than if you have to get a co-pilot.
  7. You date and ditch. If meeting the right guy causes you to ditch your loved ones, then maybe he’s not actually best for you. It’s never a good idea to leave behind your friendships when you fall in love. You never know when you’ll find yourself alone and you’ll regret all the bridges you burned along the way.
  8. You’re on an adventure—your partner’s. You’ve made a lot of compromises to be with your perfect guy. You’ve moved to a new state and followed him along his journey, perhaps. It’s great to be a team, but what about the adventures that fire up your soul? When are you going to chase those? Your dream guy shouldn’t stand in the way of your dreams.
  9. You haven’t sorted through your baggage. You have a few issues that need to be sorted out and worked on, but you haven’t done that yet. Maybe you need to soul-search a bit more or deal with previous heartbreak, or maybe you just don’t really feel like you can handle a relationship with where your head is right now. It’s better to reject Mr. Perfect instead of wasting his (and your) time.
  10. You’re on a kickass journey. You’re working your way to the top, being badass, and not letting anything stop you. The last thing you need is to take a big chunk out of your time and energy and dedicate them to a relationship. You don’t want to risk all the amazing things you’re achieving on your own and you shouldn’t. You should always come before a relationship.
  11. You’re addicted to independence. You like being able to do whatever you want and not have to ask for help. You want to think for yourself and not take another person’s opinions into account before making a grand decision. Right now, that’s more important to you than finding love. It sounds selfish, but it’s only selfish if you expect other people to live in the way you do. If you’re not hurting anyone, you can do whatever the hell you want. Say no to Mr. Perfect and say yes to yourself.
  12. You see love as a choice. You don’t see love as this massive tornado that sweeps into your life and takes over, lifting you off your feet, and doing whatever the heck it wants. You see it as a choice and sometimes you’re just not up for choosing it because you’ve got other things you’d prefer to do instead, like travel the world or build an empire. This might mean that you miss out on being with Mr. Perfect, but you know what? He can wait, and if not, there’s more like him out there. Your life won’t wait for you.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.