You deserve to be the first person your guy calls when something big happens and the woman he wants to spend his Friday nights with. If you’re not, why are you sticking around? If he’s doing these 12 things, unfortunately you don’t come very high on his list of priorities — in fact, you may not be on it at all.
- He loves last-minute plans. He’s spontaneous, you say? Sure, that’s cool, but if he’s only inviting you out last minute or texting you to find out where you are so that maybe you can get together right away, it’s rude instead of romantic. He’s basically only inviting you out when it’s convenient for him or his other plans have fallen through.
- He’s a little TOO mysterious. It might seem sexy when a guy’s a little mysterious and keeps you guessing, but a guy who’s really into a woman will make the effort to show her the very best of himself. “Cards on the table” should be the mantra. If he’s hiding things or not really speaking about himself, you’re not someone he wants to share his life and thoughts with.
- He’s always on the move — without you. He texts you from some swanky hotel while on vacation or he mentions that he went to his best friend’s wedding over the weekend. Um, why didn’t you get an invite? If you’re not his plus-one, you’re nothing to him.
- His ambition takes up all his time. It’s cool that he works so hard on creating a career for himself, but if he’s always using the “I’m busy at work” excuse for why he can’t see you, he’s totally keeping you on ice. Ambition and working hard are good, but come on — if you matter to him, he’ll make time for you no matter how packed his schedule is.
- He doesn’t think of you when making big decisions. You might be his girlfriend, but if he’s making big plans without considering you or asking what you think of them, then he’s flying solo. He’s not acting like you’re an important part of his life. In fact, he’s not acting like he’s in a relationship at all.
- He increases his efforts when he feels you slipping away. The classic move of the guy who treats you like an option is that he’ll seem more interested in you when you start moving away from him, like if you already have plans when he calls you for a spontaneous date. Then when you’re available, he goes from “hot” to “lukewarm” in 60 seconds. WTF? He knows when to be the interested, charming guy — it’s when he feels you slipping away and needs you to be available to him again.
- He takes forever to reply. You send him a text or call him, and he doesn’t answer for ages. When he does get in touch, he always has some valid excuse or so it seems, but the damage has been done and you’ve been left feeling like you don’t matter to him much.
- He doesn’t ask about your life. A guy who makes you a priority has real interest in you and your life. If he’s not showing much of that interest, then sadly he’s not interested in you. And, if you’re the one who talks to him about your life when he hasn’t even asked you about it, you’re trying too hard. You shouldn’t have to do that.
- He calls you “crazy”. When you speak to him about how his yo-yo behavior pisses you off or how he can’t commit to a date a week ahead of time, he’s quick to call you “crazy” or “unreasonable.” But honestly, your feelings matter. If he can’t acknowledge your point of view, he’s clearly not into you.
- He doesn’t take you out. It might be romantic for him to cook dinner for you at his place, but if he’s always inviting you to his house instead of taking you out on real dates, something’s wrong. He’s becoming lazy and not putting in the effort to be yours in the way a man will when he’s really crazy about a woman.
- You’re always the one at a loss. He doesn’t text you back, so you’re the one who feels like crap. He doesn’t make plans to see you, and you end up freeing your weekend for him and then feeling rejected. No matter what happens, you always feel like you’re the one losing out with this guy while he’s happily going along with things. The sad truth is that you are losing out on time and energy with a guy who’s not putting in enough effort to show you that you’re Number One on his list. It’s time to put him last and give him a taste of his own medicine.
- He doesn’t keep you in the loop. You’re chatting to him when he mentions how he got a promotion last month. Wait, what? He never mentioned it before and he might write it off as nothing major, but it is. A guy who makes you a priority sees you and him as a team. He’ll be quick to share his losses and victories with you, otherwise who is he sharing them with?