If you’re not on the same page with the person you’re dating from the very beginning, it’s just not going to work. For example, if the guy you’re seeing isn’t looking for something serious with you (or anyone else), that’s something you need to know. Sadly, not many will come out and be honest about that from the get-go. Instead, you’ll need to keep an eye out for signs that he doesn’t want anything more than sex. If you notice any of these, it’s better to walk away now.
- Everything is on his terms. Guys who don’t want a relationship and aren’t worried about taking things further will only operate on their terms. When you see him, is he always calling the shots? Does he ever bend to meet your needs? If not, he’s either unbelievably selfish or only concerned with sleeping with you, probably both. This means he’s only interested in seeing you if he thinks things will lead where he wants them to lead.
- You only see him at night. Daytime hours are for doing stuff as a couple and nighttime is for the other stuff. The later that a guy sees you, the easier it will be for him to get you into bed (at least in his head). He doesn’t want to go on a marathon date that starts while the sun is out. He wants to see you when at the end of the day.
- He only compliments your appearance. This is always a red flag when it comes to a guy’s intentions. Perhaps he doesn’t like anything about you other than the way you look. It’s also possible that he doesn’t know anything about you other than what he can see in front of him. Either way, if he obsesses over your appearance, he probably has a one-track mind.
- He’s a taker, not a giver. A guy’s behavior in the bedroom can often tell you a lot about his intentions. It’s always a bad sign if everything is all about him. If he’s interested in something long-term, he should be a little more concerned with your needs, at least early on. But a guy who’s self-centered in bed probably isn’t interested in taking the relationship outside of the bedroom.
- You don’t spend the night together. If a guy is quick to leave or kick you out after sex, it’s clear that’s all he wants. I mean, we all need to get some sleep or wake up early sometimes. That’s not always a good enough excuse for leaving after having sex with someone. If he refuses to spend the night with you, the relationship for him is probably 100% about sex.
- The conversation lags behind the physical. It’s fine to have a mostly physical connection with someone, but at some point, there needs to be more of an intellectual or emotional connection. If this is lagging way behind the sex life, it’s possible that the guy has no intention of making the relationship about anything more than sex. It’s possible he’s done this on purpose by never trying to get to know you on a deeper level.
- He doesn’t commit to plans. When a guy is only interested in a sexual relationship, don’t expect him to make long-term plans. Even planning a date a day or two ahead of time isn’t going to happen. Remember, everything is on his terms. He’ll balk at planning a date ahead of time and instead just let you know when he wants to hang out.
- He’s upset when you’re not in the mood. Good guys will typically understand that nobody can be in the mood for sex all the time. One who only likes you for the sex will be visibly upset when you tell him that you’re not in the mood. He might try to guilt you into it or talk his way into it. This is because sex is all that matters to him, so if you won’t have sex with him, he feels he has no reason for being there.
- He doesn’t spend money on you. Sure, a guy might buy you a few drinks, but other than that, don’t expect a guy who only wants sex to open his wallet. He probably won’t take you to nice restaurants or give you little gifts. He only wants to spend the minimum of time hanging out with you so that you’ll jump into bed with him.
- His flirting is all about sex. Sure, a lot of flirting has sexual undertones. But you can flirt in a fun way without being overtly sexual about it. However, if a guy only wants sex from you, he probably isn’t going to beat around the bush. He’ll make it clear from the start that he wants to sleep with you. Even after he sleeps with you once, his flirting will be centered around sleeping with you again.
- His date ideas make sex an option. If getting together doesn’t give him the option of getting you in bed, he won’t be on board with it. Usually, that eliminates going to public places. A guy might suggest dinner and a movie, but then he’ll want it at his place. If he only wants sex, he’ll only be open to dates that will allow him to quickly transition to the bedroom. Otherwise, he won’t think it’s worth his time.
- He ignores your red flags. If you want to test a guy’s intentions, purposely throw up red flags. Try saying something that sounds crazy or ridiculous and that might scare a guy away. A reasonable guy will perhaps back away or question you. However, if he just wants sex, he won’t care what you say. He’ll go along with anything because all he wants is to get you in bed.
