12 Signs He’s A Boundary Pusher

While a healthy relationship includes compromise, it’s also important to set limits on acceptable behaviors and deal breakers. Does your partner respect your boundaries? If he’s doing any of these 12 things, he’s actually trying to push his way through them.

  1. He always seems to suggest date activities you don’t like. He knows you hate camping and hiking because you’ve told him a million times. And yet, he always wants to do those date activities. Does he just have a bad memory? Probably not.
  2. He doesn’t accept “no.” One of the biggest, most obvious signs you’re dealing with a boundary pusher is someone who doesn’t listen when you say “no.” It starts with the little things and soon can involve much bigger issues. Not only is this frustrating, but it’s a sign of disrespect!
  3. He’s always trying to persuade you. He can throw on the charm and make you feel like he’s trying to persuade you to do things he wants because he wants to share those experiences with you. Perhaps what’s really going on is that he’s trying to charm you to control you.
  4. He’s a rule breaker. This sign isn’t enough to demonstrate that he’s trying to push your boundaries, obviously, but if he’s the type of person who always wants to break the rules and do things his way, it could be a sign that he’s going to try to make you break rules too — yours in particular.
  5. He mocks you for your choices. If he suggests that you have tequila shots and you don’t want to, he’ll call you boring but claim it’s just a joke. The person you’re with shouldn’t be putting you down or making you feel like you should do certain things in order to be seen as good enough.
  6. He doesn’t listen to you. A person who never listens to you is disrespecting you as it is. Now, imagine when time passes and that lack of listening isn’t reserved for daily chatter but now is on display when you express what you really think and feel. It’s a nightmare, so beware of the guy who zones out when you talk and only wants to focus on his feelings and thoughts.
  7. He broke boundaries with his ex. Although you shouldn’t judge people unfairly based on their past behavior, if you feel your partner might be pushing boundaries with you and he’s got a history of violating boundaries with his ex, like if he cheated on her for instance, then it makes it harder to trust him.
  8. He does things for you without asking. Are you dealing with a guy who doesn’t ask you what you want but just goes ahead and plans things for you? No, it’s not romantic. Maybe he orders food for you or plans a weekend getaway without checking in with your schedule. Frustrating, no? Maybe you’re really enjoying the tiramisu that he ordered for you, but that’s not the point. Just because he knows what you like, it doesn’t mean he can just go ahead and determine things for you.
  9. He always has excuses for his bad behavior. If you feel that he’s doing things that hurt you, when you confront him the boundary pusher will always have an excuse handy. He might say he’s been so stressed that it’s made him mean, for example, but that’s a BS reason.
  10. He disrespects your feelings. When you tell him you’re uncomfortable with something, he won’t listen to what you have to say. He will try to mow down your feelings so he can get what he wants. So shady.
  11. He does things even after you tell him you don’t like them. If he disrespects your feelings, it’s only a matter of time before he’ll go ahead and do things he knows you don’t feel good about. For example, if you’ve told him that you hate how he flirts with other women and he needs to stop because it’s disrespectful to you, he’ll do it again the next time you’re out on the town.
  12. He thinks he can get away with anything. He’ll repeat his crappy behavior because he feels you won’t actually leave him, so he can do whatever he wants. No way, honey. It’s time to tell this guy to GTFO because his controlling behavior is just going to get worse.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.