12 Signs He’s Bored In Your Relationship

The honeymoon phase is temporary at best and as things settle down, they naturally become a little less fiery. However, if you’re worried your relationship is actually boring your boyfriend lately, it should make warning bells sound. A breakup could be looming.

  1. He zones out. You can tell when he zones out. He seems so vacant and distant that you could be telling him there was a fire in your office and he wouldn’t even flinch. His mind is clearly elsewhere. If this happens regularly, it’s a bad sign.
  2. He’s doing more… outside of the relationship. When a guy’s excited about your relationship, he shows it by bringing that enthusiasm to you. He might, for instance, want to do fun/adventurous activities with you. When he starts looking outside of the relationship for fun, that’s a sign he’s bored at home.
  3. He’s doing more without you. Picking up from the last point, it’s even more worrying if he’s doing lots of activities and not inviting you to them. Who is he spending all his time with? If you have to see what he’s been up to and with who by checking his Facebook timeline on the regular, you’ve got a problem.
  4. He suddenly has lots of new friends. Sometimes when people feel jaded about their romantic relationships, they focus on other relationships in their lives like their friendships. If your guy’s got a bunch of new friends that he hasn’t really bothered to tell you much about (so much for group dates), it could be that he’s looking for fun and wanting to meet new people because he’s bored with the one he already has.
  5. He has new interests. It’s not just his social circle that’s changing. Lately, he’s become interested in things he never used to care about. He’s going bungee-jumping and looking into buying a holiday home. He’s thinking of going back to his studies and maybe even taking up golf. If you hear this and shake your head in utter confusion, bear in mind that he could be bored and feeling desperate to find some exciting new avenues and hobbies. Honestly, it’s selfish if he’s not even considering your relationship while he’s hunting down the fun.
  6. He fidgets a lot. When you spend quality time together, he’s often restless. He fidgets and struggles to sit down and enjoy the movie you’re watching or the video game you’re playing even though it used to be his favorite. He might be bored with your activities. Perhaps suggesting a different activity could help.
  7. He’s looking elsewhere. Literally. When you’re out in public and talking to him, his eyes are all over the restaurant or coffee shop. He’s more interested in anything else other than what you’re talking about. It’s so rude! He’s clearly not only bored but not bothered about connecting with you.
  8. He never asks you anything. In the beginning, he used to take an interest in your life and ask you questions. Now it seems like you’re always the one asking him stuff and he doesn’t really care about checking in with your day or feelings. If you don’t text him, he doesn’t really get in touch. It’s like he’s really just going with the flow and becoming a lazy boyfriend, leaving you to do all the work. That’s the thing about bored people: they become boring.
  9. He’s in love with his phone. If you’re not out in public where there’s a lot to see and instead you’re chilling at home, he might turn to his phone for distraction. Again, so damn rude! He’s more interested in what’s going on on his social media than he is in having a real conversation with you. The more this happens, the more he’s shutting you out. It’s even more insulting if he never texts you when you’re apart but he’s glued to his phone when you’re together.
  10. The silence feels different. It’s normal to have some silent moments when you’re with your boyfriend, and they can be healthy. They’re a sign that you’re capable of just being together. But if the silence used to feel natural but now it’s become strained or awkward, that’s a warning sign right there. It shows that you have nothing to say to each other. It’s especially worrying if you try to start a fun topic of conversation and he just answers with “k” or “yeah” before shutting down again.
  11. He doesn’t want to fight. Arguments will come up from time to time, but it’s how couples deal with them that make a difference and boost their bond. If during arguments, your BF stops talking, walks away, and never resolves anything, he’s not only bored, he’s checking out of the relationship. He literally feels like he’s got nothing to fight for.
  12. Date nights are extinct. You know how important it is to have date nights when you’ve been in a relationship with your BF for ages. They help you reconnect and give you something new to talk about and experience. When your boyfriend never wants to commit to date night anymore, he’s basically saying he doesn’t want to make an effort with you anymore. He doesn’t see how a fun date night can bring the spice back.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.