Are You Dating A Man-Child? 12 Signs He’s Never Going To Grow Up

It’s a sad fact of dating that some guys are way too immature to even function, let alone be in a real relationship. It would be great if they could step it up and start acting like adults, but unfortunately, sometimes that seems like way too much to ask. Here are 12 signs he’s never going to grow up:

  1. He’s cool with the status quo. Beware the guy who’s a man-child… and totally okay with it. If your new guy still lives at home and loves it, or if there’s something that’s preventing him from growing up but he’s just not doing it, then he’s never going to change. You’re only going to get hurt in the process of waiting for him to learn how to be an adult.
  2. He’s got zero ambition. It’s one thing to have a crappy job — that happens to everyone at some point. But if he hates his job and makes no effort to change it, then he’s most likely going to stay in that position forever. There’s nothing more childish than complaining about something but doing nothing about it.
  3. He’s super lazy. You probably didn’t mean to wind up with a lazy guy; sometimes it just happens. At first he seems cute and charming and you like that he’s way more low-key than some of the dull and uptight guys you’ve been out with in the past. Then you realize that, oops, he doesn’t put effort into anything, especially not his relationship with you. Yup, you have to make all the plans and all the decisions, and that gets old fast.
  4. He’s not into commitment. And that means he won’t commit to literally anything in his life. He lives at home… or he lives in a crappy apartment with a roomie that he hates but refuses to move. He won’t think about the future, even if it’s tomorrow, and he definitely won’t commit to you. Why are you dating this guy again?
  5. He’s got a group mentality. He hangs out with his friends on a super regular basis and that would be okay except for the fact that he doesn’t like to make decisions without them. When you ask what his plans are this weekend, he’s not sure if he can see you because he’s waiting to hear back from his bro. This is a tricky situation because if his friends are all single, he might want to be too.
  6. He hates emotions. It’s not just that he can’t show any feelings or tell you what’s going on. Nope, he goes one step further and basically loathes any kind of emotion. When you say what you’re thinking and feeling, he freaks out and runs away. Cute… not.
  7. He takes zero responsibility. He’s always right, whether he’s dealing with a friend fight, an issue at work or you’re having an important discussion. He’s not going to take responsibility for anything and that’s not going to change anytime soon… or ever.
  8. He keeps disappointing you. It’s no secret that relationships take work, and a lot of that work means figuring out what your expectations are and whether your partner can meet them. If you’re always feeling deflated over his words and actions, it’s not a good situation for you to be in. Some conflict and tension is bound to happen but if he keeps upsetting you and doesn’t even care, he’s a huge baby.
  9. He’s hot and cold. One minute you’re his one and only and the next? It’s like he can’t be bothered to even text you every once in a while. That’s not someone you should be dating long term… or even short term.
  10. He doesn’t get you. Mature guys are willing to listen and they want to understand you. They want to get to know you and they respect who you really are. If your BF just doesn’t get you at all, then that’s a conscious choice that he’s making. Sure, it sucks, but it’s pretty boring too.
  11. He complains 24/7. The day you stop expecting life to be fair is the day that you truly become an adult, no matter what the age on your I.D. says. Before that point, you probably whined about everything under the sun. Then you figured out how that wouldn’t solve anything, and oh yeah, it was super annoying. If your boyfriend never stops complaining, that’s a sign that he has a lot of maturing to do.
  12. He doesn’t want to. If a man-child likes being that way, then guess what? He’s not changing — not for you, not for the relationship, not for anything. Don’t stick around because you think you can force him to grow up. You can’t. It’s time to cut him loose and find someone on your level —  AKA an actual adult.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.