12 Signs He’s Not Worth More Than A Fling

12 Signs He’s Not Worth More Than A Fling ©iStock//izusek

As much as I hate to say it, not everyone is relationship material. You might really like a guy and have amazing chemistry with him, but that doesn’t mean you’re meant to be a committed couple. So how can you tell if he’s worth making your boyfriend or not? If you notice any of the following signs, you’re probably better off relegating him to fling status:

  1. He doesn’t have his act together financially. He’s got no job. He has no car. He’s living with his parents and he’s over 30. Simply put, this is a guy who doesn’t have his act together. If you get into a relationship with him, you can bet that he’ll expect you to act like his mom, support him financially and also praise him for sitting on his butt. Unless you enjoy having a man-child, it’s best to look for a guy who’s at least moderately financially stable.
  2. He’s not interested in a relationship. If he tells you that he doesn’t want a relationship, believe him. Don’t try to convince him otherwise, because you’ll end up losing that fight. Besides, if he doesn’t see the value in you, it’s his loss — not yours.
  3. He can’t behave himself. Is he constantly drooling over your body? Is he the type of guy who will try to act like a douchebag in the middle of a fancy restaurant? Does he spaz out? If so, you don’t want a relationship with this guy. He will embarrass you at the worst possible times, and it will make people question your taste in men.
  4. You can’t take him seriously even if you tried. If he’s spending every night at the club, talking about being a playboy and acting like the most immature man on earth, he’s not relationship material. Even if he says he wants a girlfriend, the fact is that he’s clearly not ready for a real relationship.
  5. He doesn’t text or call too often. If he thinks that not texting and calling is all right, he’s not relationship material. Most guys who actually do want a relationship will call you regularly, and also text often. If he can’t do that, then he’s not really capable of having a relationship.
  6. He can’t talk about anything that isn’t shallow. A guy who actually will be able to keep you interested will be able to talk about a wealth of different things — philosophy, things he’s read or even just issues he sees in society. If the guy who you’re with can’t hold a conversation about topics that aren’t shallow, it’s best to keep him as a fling. After all, you can only have so many conversations about the latest news on Kim Kardashian before he bores you.
  7. He’s stingy during dates. Really, if a guy can’t be arsed to actually pay for a drink on the first date, he’s probably not someone you want to spend time with. Trying to be in a relationship with a miser will likely make you feel unappreciated at worst, and like a sugar mama at best.
  8. He’s milking the honeymoon phase for all it’s worth. Some guys are just addicted to the thrill of a new relationship or chase. If you get the feeling that he’s “love bombing” you with presents and wild nights out just for the feeling that he gets from it, he’s not actually going to be a good relationship partner. At best, being overly into the chase may be a sign that he’ll bounce when things become more routine. Worst case scenario, you might be looking at an abuser.
  9. He’s made it clear that he wants to keep things quiet. This is an indicator that he wants you as a side chick, nothing more. Don’t try to bother with a guy who isn’t proud to be with you and doesn’t want you to be his number one. If he’s doing this, he might not even be fling material. After all, dealing with cheaters means dealing with more drama than they’re worth.
  10. You legit have none of the big stuff in common. Sexually speaking, opposites might attract, but on a realistic level, going out with someone who’s your polar opposite will lead to a lot of drama and strife. Unless you want to bicker over every single move you make, you’ll want to keep him at a fling level.
  11. He’s still hung up on someone else. There’s really no reason to try to pursue a guy who would view you as a second best choice.
  12. He’s openly admitted that he has issues, is damaged or is selfish. Everyone has problems, but if he’s going so far as to make that a main issue, you need to watch out. This isn’t someone who will be a stable partner – and you might even want to avoid a fling with him altogether.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.